Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Family discussions

"Les, I'll give the kids a bath and you finish the dishes and after we get the kids to bed lets just have some time to sit and talk for awhile."

I was really looking forward to the sitting and talking for awhile business. This sort of time is hard to come by on a Sunday during football season. According to Eric, everything occurs during its season, and the marriage cultivation season occurs June through August--or from after the buzzer signaling a winner in the NBA finals until the cannon sounds for the first kick-off of the Fightin' Texas Aggie football team . . . gig-em.

So I was looking forward to "talk time". Eric and I sat at the dinner table. He got out his Treo, I got a cup of hot tea and he began reading me his calendar. We went over the next weeks events, made a phone call or two to our friends to set up some times to meet during the week. Discussed what we might like to do for a date night. Talked about our goals for our small group. Decided to really commit to a time of prayer together each night--I watched him put that into his Treo as well. All the while I silently drummed my toes on the floor to keep from drumming my fingers on the table. I understood this stuff needed to be accomplished before we had our "talk time" but I was getting impatient.

Then Eric got up and turned on the TV. "What, THEY LOST! I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY LOST!"

I thought, is this our talk time? Did I miss it? Perhaps Eric forgot that we were going to have talk time. After all it is the off-season.

Anyway, I got distracted as well. I don't remember really what happened next. But the next night as we were getting ready to pray, Eric pulled out his notebook and said, "Okay, lets pray for . . . And then he began to rattle off from his list."

I had an epiphany. This IS talk time for Eric. We didn't miss it on Sunday, I just didn't recognize it.

I should be flattered. He talks to me, just like he talks to God--off of an action items list!

We both got a big kick out of our differences, and a new understanding of one another and God as well. It was an enlightening experience for all--and it occurred during football season.

1 comment:

Stephanie said...

If more people came to the realization you all came too there truly would be less divorce in this world. This world has taught us to be so self-centered and I think many people forget that their spouses definition of certain actions may be different than your own. I think much of the marital conflict that occurs, occurs because someone has an expectation or need they feel is not being met, and the other thinks that they are meeting the expectation perfectly...and there is no communication and then resentment begins to build.

I think it's so wonderful that you all were able to see this and identify it, and laugh.

My hubby and I got married and we never had pre-marital counseling because we had been in different states for 5 months prior to the wedding, so 10 months after we got married we started to see a wonderful Christian counselor. Now we know that if we begin to feel resentment about something that there must be a lack of communication somewhere and we discuss it and resolve it.

Sorry for the long comment. Most of mine are pretty short. This has been something that has been a huge realization in my life in the last few years and we are constantly using this in our marriage.

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