New year's resolution

After paying full price for Christmas lights again this year, I've decided that next year will be different!

Forget that vow I made to make sure my cat lost weight. Or that promise to only buy clothes in that shade of pink that most complemented my complexion and made my butt look smaller. Or when I said that this next year I would for sure hang up the pictures on the wall that I've been meaning to get hung ever since we moved in--three years ago.

I have more important things to do.

I vow to have in place, by next Christmas, my own religious sect.

I'd pretty much leave everything in place, though I might require the leader of the sect to get first preference for parking. But the principal change that I will make is to change the date on which we celebrate the birth of Christ--I'm thinking January 20th or so. That way I can take advantage of all the after Christmas sales--All of these Christmas lights I'm paying a pretty penny for will be in .99 cent bins by the time me and my followers are ready to decorate for Christmas.

The trick will be to get a following that is large enough to get schools to allow days off, but not large enough to really reset the date we celebrate Christmas. But I've got lots of work to do if I don't want to spend full price for Christmas lights next year.