Sunday, October 09, 2005

And we all fall down

I know the simple "go to heaven" narrative. It is appealing to me to know that one day I will be reunited with those I knew on Earth. But when it seems as though someone whom I love isn't going, well Heaven tarnishes a bit.

The simple narrative of my faith is that if you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, believe that he died on the cross and rose again in order to pay for your sins--if you believe that in your heart, your in.

But it is of little comfort tonight when someone I love is more rapidly slipping away from this world and so seemingly unprepared for the next.

It's at this point that I want to yell, Damn this @#$@%^ religion!

It hurts.

And it offers no peace.

There is no peace in my prayers and while I try to take comfort that others are praying, well, those prayers just do not seem to be working.

It seems a bit of a paradox doesn't it? Christ came for me to have an abundant life in this life, but how can I? And if I know someone I love is in a place of everlasting torment, apart from God, going about my abundant life seems selfish.


Robin said...

I'm still praying anyway. At the very least for some, any, amount of peace in the matter for you and Eric.

Besides, if we weren't all praying for it--there really would be no hope. Right?

Leslie said...

you are right. i'm more hopeful now than when i wrote this. and i am praying as well--with a little more faith as well.