Lost in Oz

Drums or Trombone

2009-11-21T16:19:00.000-08:00

Our family is bracing for Caleb's first year of band next year. He went for his blow test about a week ago and came back saying that he wanted to play saxophone or trombone. But that the band director said something along the lines of, "You'd really like the trombone wouldn't you?" I think this is on account of Caleb's long arms. Having long arms is a really great asset for a third grade trombone player. Anyway, I'd just become accustomed to the idea of a trombone player in the house when I found out he was really on the list for percussion!

In all honesty, I've been leveraging every bit of influence I have toward the percussion for the last two years for the purely selfish reason that if he plays the percussion then I don't have to lug around a case bigger than Caleb. At every church service, concert, whatever, I'd point at the drummer and comment, "Doesn't the drummer look like he's having fun?" "Look, Caleb, if you are a drummer you don't have to wear shoes to church!" I don't know why that is really, it just seems that every church drummer goes barefoot. "Doesn't that drummer have cool hair?" You can't really tell by looking, but Caleb is very into his hair at the moment. I found a really great rendition of The Drummer Boy by Brave Combo. I play this over and over.

I'm sellin', but he's not buyin'.

He keeps looking at the third grade half asleep bass drummer plodding out one monotonous beat after another. And he's not impressed. And the coolly coiffed, blonde, barefoot guy behind the drumset at church? Well, he's a lifetime away for Caleb. Literally, the kid is probably sixteen. Caleb is eight. And, well, Caleb's criteria reflect his age. The clownish trombone slide seems like the ideal party trick, and the trombone most resembles the shape of a bazooka.

Doesn't this kid grasp the importance of this decision! I know men and women whose entire lives were determined by the instrument they chose for school band.

So here is the latest. I've sat Caleb down and told him that he is not wise enough to make such a monumental decision. He needs to consult the experts (to which he replied that he didn't need anyone to tell him that he didn't want to play the drums.) But we've agreed to talk to his piano teacher and get his input.

I talked to the piano teacher today. He is squarely in my corner.

Cricket

2009-10-27T18:36:00.000-07:00

I was going to write about Caleb's start at cricket. In all honesty after three games, I can't even begin to write anything beyond, "He hit the little ball with the flat wooden paddle and ran from one end of the dirt to the other several times. No wickets. Good for him." The wickets part is a step up from last week.

Sometimes I have to remind myself I'm in a foreign country. The accent has become familiar, and if I'm at a school auditorium listening to a reading teacher list good books for preschoolers, it feels very familiar. The books are largely the same. Mem Fox, being Australian, is big over here. Moms ask about the schools approach to reading instructions--whole language vs. phonics, etc. I could be in any suburban setting in the U.S.

And then I'm confronted with the odd idiosyncrasies of Australia--Christmas and flip-flops, Swimming lessons and Santa, and then the strangest of all: Aussies and Cricket. My understanding of Cricket is limited, but to me it seems to be a baseball game that has overdosed on Quaaludes. This time of year we often see grown men dressed in white shirts, white vests, white knickers, white socks milling about watching a guy run full speed from what would be center field in baseball (relatively speaking) with a white ball that at the last second he hurls at a guy with a white paddle. After that, they usually have tea. Seriously, afternoon tea is part of the game. Short cricket matches last an entire day, and at the end of the day their uniforms are still white. But cricket can often go one for three to five days and right now that is what we are witnessing at the moment. It is the Ashes Series here in Australia, and in the last go around for the first time in something like twenty years the Aussies lost. It is a tense time here in the antipodes.

The Ashes series began in 1882 when Australia, went to England and beat the "barmy army" at their own game. The Sporting News, after a humiliating loss to a bunch of convicts and the descendants of former *sniff, sniff* English peasantry, declared that English cricket had died and that the body would be cremated. Eventually an Australian, in a gesture entirely characteristic of Aussie humor, presented an urn carrying the English cricket remains, and to this day this is the "cup" that they play for. It's a tiny little thing and looks a lot like the trophy I won when I spent one summer on a wooden bench watching my softball team place third in the fillies league.
And if you are like me and you wonder why NBA finals are best of seven games instead of five or three, then you'll be simply bowled over by the Ashes series: Five games, each game lasts five whole days. So of course, why not break for afternoon tea.

I can understand why such a sport goes over in the UK. Mainly because there are a whole host of items (the British version of The Office, Borat, the Royal Family) that entertain the British (called Pommies here, and often spoken of with good humored disdain) that elicit a yawn in the States as the T.V. channel is switched to NASCAR, My Name is Earl, or even celebrity poker. But I don't understand why Australians find it so appealing. This is, after all, the country that introduced the world to the Crocodile Hunter, Crocodile Dundee, and Mad Max. I doubt the Man from Snowy River ever dressed in white nickers, polo shirt, and v-neck, then played a sport that breaks for tea. But cricket is serious business over here and I heard on the radio that two bowlers had been expelled from the league after having taken steroids. It took me a week to realize they weren't talking about lawn bowling, but still, I think the irony remains.

This is a foreign country.

Be Rich. Do more. Give more.

2009-10-26T16:10:00.000-07:00

This Christmas season is going to be different for our family. Typically I procrastinate. But we've lived for two seasons without established Christmas traditions and it is time we establish some. In the past I relied upon the traditions established by my family. And I was quite happy with them, though Eric got a bit weary of basically driving a lone star pattern across Texas to visit all of, now our family. He realized how tied I was to my Christmas traditions on the first year of our marriage. Always the early riser in the morning, Eric wanted to get up. I grabbed his arm, and between clenched teeth said, "Eric, no! He won't come! If you get up before mom and dad knock on our door and tell us to come down stairs then Santa won't come!"

So now we are in need of new traditions even though we are going to go back to Texas for Christmas this year. But this year as a family we've elected to concentrate on the giving aspect of the season. We don't need anything else. And it ends up being one more thing that we have to move. So at my mom's suggestion we are doing something different this year. Instead of buying one another gifts we are going to focus the generosity of the season on others who might be less fortunate in this world. (The kids will get a Christmas, we aren't doing away with everything.)

I think we will begin here: Andy Stanley gives a good explanation of the motivation behind Christian generosity, I believe the Christian reason for generosity is unique because The New Testament motivation for giving does not revolve around repayment or guilt (already taken care of). Our family is going to go into the Christmas season with a sense of gratitude for who God is. The campaign gives a website to help our family or friends and family discuss what we might do as a group. It is worth a look.

I'm moving

2006-06-01T13:36:00.000-07:00

Okay that is old news, but what I mean is that I'm moving my blog. I will now be posting here.

Toni Writes

2006-05-27T04:46:00.000-07:00

Here is Toni's blog. Toni and I grew up in Athens together. She was (and still is) two years older than me. My first encounter with Toni was in soccer. They didn't have enough boys and girls to have separate leagues so they put us all in together and Toni was the most feared soccer goalie in the league.

Later on we would be friends in high school.

She went to Texas A & M and became a columnist for the Battalion. She married Roy. They moved back to Athens (not a bad place to go to back to in my opinion.) and she became editor of the local paper. She has two children that Caleb loves to play with and we have cute videos of them from my sister's wedding.

Toni and Roy host the annual Clay Crayfish boil and this past year I think we all consumed 150 lbs. of crayfish. It was great!

Okay, now, if anyone wants a "19 inch TV with a wall mount, a roll top desk, an armoire that can either house a computer or an infants clothes and diapers, or enough Christmas lights to Griswald your house for the holidays please stop by our home in Grapevine. Just go down Hall Johnson road and look for the orange signs. (Sorry, for shamelessly plugging my garage sale in a post about you Toni--at this point I can't help myself.)

A few last pics

2006-05-24T05:42:00.000-07:00

We will be leaving the Dallas area on Saturday. I think we will have one final garage sale. It just seems easier at this point to move everything out to the garage and have other people take it away. If I price things right (dirt cheap) that will happen.

Here are Caleb and Elise reading in the chair that is now at Sarah's house. Notice that Elise seems to be intently looking at a page with nothing on it. She just likes to mimic her brother. There are many memories in this house. We had planned to be here at least until the kids graduated from high school. After that, well, we'd have had to look at wheel chair accessibility, but we might have been able to pull it off. I had grand dreams for this home. Including a hottub in the bathroom that allowed you to swim underneath the wall into the pool outside and totally retractable walls in the eating area off the kitchen along with some sort of misquito solution. Okay, perhaps I've moved beyond the dream category into the delusion category. But the point is I had made plans. But it isn't just plans that change. When plans change dreams change.

I had a plan for how I wanted to live my life here--one that involved more than a house remodel--but God seems to have a different plan for us. And really it is on a moment by moment basis on whether or not I'm happily going along with it. I know the verse says "straight and narrow is the way" and sometimes I think a straight way should be easy to follow. But I am reminded that few find it.

I hiked the Hermit trail in the Grand Canyon. It is an unmaintained trail that leads to the bottom of the canyon. Perhaps the trail was straight, but since few passed along it, the trail was nonexistent in some places. So we seemed to be on the trail at times, but other times we were not. In those places we would look for Rock cairns. People who had gone before had taken rocks and piled them one atop the other so that others that followed would know the way. Considering that at one point we walked over the bones of a dead mountain sheep that I imagined had lost his way, those rock cairns were very helpful.

Okay, well, the movers are here and today we are packing up the computer. It seems I've lost my way on this post. But I'll throw it out there today and try to make sense of it later.

Also, we may be at church Saturday Night (I can't be for certain). If we are, we would love to meet everyone in the coffeeshop one last time.

Moving Day

2006-05-22T18:54:00.000-07:00

I won't blog about the following:

The "glitch" in the paperwork that is holding up the visas for Caleb and Elise. We might have to just leave them here. And honestly, there were times today that I would have been okay with that. I love my children. I keep reminding myself of that.
The insurance three-ply form. This is where I write down everything we are taking, how much I think it is worth, and where and how it is going.
I still have a garage sale left. We just keep coming up with stuff to get rid of. Lamps, lawn mowers, fertilizer spreader, chain saw, a slip cover for the chair. We used to have one for the couch but now it has a red sort of hazy stain on it. Kind of ruins the purpose of a slipcover.
How I sort of "lost it" and decided--on a whim--to try the primal scream tension release technique that was so popular in the sixties. There is a reason that died out. It just upset the kids. And now Eric is tense. So much for the stress relief.

Instead I will blog about the things I hope to remember about this experience.

My children helping to unload the sandbox that their dad built them (with a little help from his son), and then sitting in the wheel barrow to play in the sand.
My children hiding around the boxes.
Caleb happily pitching in to take trash to the curb. Little boys really try so hard to please.
And I have to say the corporate relo is the way to go. I was very frazzled (and am still a bit stressed on other matters) last night, but this morning four very competent, very nice people who spoke in encouraging low voices showed up at my door. They didn't say, "Lady, what are you thinking, you are nowhere near ready for us to come." They just asked me where I wanted to send all this stuff and then began packing. (We are sending some stuff by air, some by sea, and some into storage. And not knowing where we are going to live makes these decisions difficult.)
Okay here is one more picture. This is what my house looks like right now.

Okay, I have to stop now because the Mavs are winning and the only way for Eric to watch is on our computer. The basketball playoffs have been hard to come by in Sydney. Oh . . .Oh, he is starting to convulse. . . .

Oh, and Dad, I was just kidding about the chain saw. You can pick it up this weekend.

What's going on out there

2006-05-21T06:00:00.000-07:00

This is only home for a few more days. And Eric is afraid to sit down on anything for fear that I will sell it out from underneath him, but as I hear my daughter and my son and my husband wrestling on the bed, it feels and sounds like home.

Anyway, there has been lots to say this past week and people have said it better than I:

Judith's poem Beach Walk is hauntingly beautiful.
Robin has posted a playdough recipe.
Minnie is still having seizures. Here is her latest account. Minnie, I am praying that God uses your trials in an amazing way.
Addie posted about a prayer request for a little girl undergoing surgery.
Tammara posts about working for a virtual call center. I have to admit, I've been intrigued by this type of thing for stay at home moms. I'll be interested to see how it works out.
Chris McGregor posts on Brian McLaren's book A Generous Orthodoxy. This is a book I've been meaning to read. McLaren's been a bit controversial, I think mainly because of his views of heaven and hell. But I think McLaren raises interesting questions in his other books.
I am a Malcolm Gladwell fan. Here is his latest post on healthcare in the U.K. vs. U.S. I was hoping Australia was somewhere in the mix, but it wasn't.

Okay, need to get packin'.

Mom and Dad are taking the cat.

2006-05-20T09:23:00.000-07:00

Thank you!

A learning experience

2006-05-19T20:05:00.000-07:00

Eric returns tomorrow.

I miss him.

I've learned much in the last four weeks of his absence. I don't feel like writing an emotional post tonight, but suffice to say, I am very glad Eric will be here tomorrow for the chief reason that I miss him. He is my husband, and he has been very far away and it hasn't been that much fun without him.

Here is what I've learned so far:

There is not much fun without him. In my case I've had plenty to keep me busy, but really, it has been lonely. For one thing when you have couple friends and you are not a couple, the social aspect of life wanes a bit. I had plenty of offers for help and I needed and used everyone, but I really treasured time spent with adults because there was so little of it. Toni and Roy invited me to their Annual Crayfish boil and I had the opportunity to hang out with them and enjoy a glass or two of wine, gumbo, crawdads and good conversation. It was much needed. I had lunch with Sarah and Robin who made quite a haul to do so--I appreciate that immensly. It was a much needed social outing. I guess, my foray into singlemotherhood (I realize I only possessed a few of the trappings) taught me that women need more than just help with the kids. And I learned how much of my social life revolved around our being a couple.
I also learned I would make a terrible single mother. Eric provided levity to the day at just the right time (I've sometimes referred to him as the second shift). I've missed that. By the end of the day, I was just too tired to cosy up on the couch (which is okay--we sold it) and read a good bedtime story to my son. If I did read a story I usually tried to get away with skipping pages. And I was much less inclined to read with "voices." Though by the end of the day I was definitely hearing them.
Eric provides a steadying effect to my life. I would say our relationship isn't as easily defined as most. I can't just say Eric is the steady one and I'm the flighty one. We're both equally in need of someone to act as a check on our ideas, schemes, plans, etc. And we've both usually acted well in that regard. This morning I made three trips down the driveway and back up in my car with the kids in the back to get "stuff" I needed to get some papers signed. In the end I just ditched the idea completely (when I remembered that I had to go on Main Street and it is festival weekend) and we went to Chuck E. Cheese. I'd never have done that if Eric were here.

Speaking of CEC, if I were Catholic, I'd see if I could count this time towards my stay in Purgatory. I'm not sure what purgatory is supposed to be like, but if it is a place of pennance, then I have paid. I have paid. I have paid.

And really it was almost worth it to hear the excitement in my sons voice when I said we'd go. But when we left and the elastic on the cheap pirates eyepatch, which cost us roughly $15.25 in CEC tokens, broke and he broke out in a wail that I swear caused neighboring cars to pull over and look for the firetruck, I was reminded why CEC isn't so great.

If Eric were here, I would not have felt the need to attempt the repair of a somewhat frayed relationship with my eldest by taking him to Chuck E. Cheese. I'd have let it ride for awhile and told myself and my four year old that his dad would be home at 6:00.
I can cook* and do the dishes, or I can bathe the kids at night. I can not do both.
One thing I did learn is that Caleb, with a bit of coaching, can appease Elise when she goes through the "hold me or I'll throw myself to the ground and beat my forehead on the floor" phase of her day. Here he is with a comforting arm around her as they watch Elmo. I know he looks a bit half hearted, but it worked. I learned this today. I wish I had learned it just 28 days earlier.

*Cook in that sentence is defined as me putting a banana, apple sauce (already in the convenient serving sized plastic container), and a peanut butter sandwich on a paper plate for the kids.

All in all things around here have not been fun, not that it should be. Caleb needs his father. I need my husband, and I'm glad he is coming home tomorrow.

To a house without a chair, or a T.V. or a couch.

21 Comments!

2006-05-18T20:55:00.000-07:00

Wow the "for sale" post got 21 comments! I've never gotten 21 comments on my blog before! I'm going to find more stuff to sell!

My kids better watch out.

Someone hijacked my blog and is selling all their stuff on it!

2006-05-16T14:22:00.000-07:00

Items for sale

2005 Acura with 18,000 miles for $30,250. It is really fancy. The front seats heat up if you want them to, but that is about all I know about it.

Child’s table (green)= $40

Solid Oak Roll Top desk= $300 o.b.o.

Office chair=$100

19” RCA flat (note: not skinny) screen TV/DVD=$150 o.b.o.

Karastan, Mahira collection. I don't think they have this line anymore. %100 wool rugs 8x11 = $800, 5x9 $300--firm

Washing Machine= $125, Dryer=$125 or $200 if bought as a pair.

Red chair with footstool=$30

Baby gates=$10, $30, both are meant to go in either regular sized doors, or bigger openings.

The cat is free with the gate.

One Kelty carrier=$30.

One Spiderman scooter=$10.00

Three tables (coffee table, two end tables) =$100

Grill= $150

Computer Desk, mission style, solid wood construction = $800 firm

Crate and Barrel Dining Table in Kitchen, includes two leaves that fit on ends, solid oak, honey colored. = $1400 firm

Four Black Ikea chairs (practically new) =$120

Roomba with extended life battery pack and filters= $150

Industrial mop, bucket, mop heads (regular and nylon) floor finish, Gym mop, and any other supplies that go with taking care of a concrete floor= value of about $200. selling for $100.

Hoover Vacuum Cleaner=$30.

Dell Computer --Demension 4800--with printer/scanner, “19 in. screen, wireless keyboard, wireless mouse, Includes the Window’s Media package.=$600 And a fancy speaker system, but obviously I am not the one to really describe this, you would need to take a look at it yourself. We bought this last year, but I just don't think it will work in Australia.

Cat= Free to good home

Wheel barrow= $20

Garage Utility Shelves= make an offer

Mirror=$10

Coffee Maker=$10.

Fisher Price Electronic train set. Has additions, but I don’t know which. Has about four electric trains. = See: http://www.fisher-price.com/us/geotrax/default_flash.asp

Garbage Cans with tops and wheels (4—two are in good condition, 2 others are not, but they work) = $20

Garage utility shelves= $75

All Playschool little people stuff (farm and community—some pieces missing from farm) $20.

Four brushed nickel lamps (two table, one floor, one accent) $30. (You can see the accent lamp in the picture with the coffee tables.)

Two traditional style lamps =$20.00

Armoire-mission style (formerly for computer) that has been turned into a baby’s closet =$100

White cabinet, sort of cottage style=$25.

All food items in our pantry=free. I wanted to donate these, but I am afraid I won’t have time. So if you want to take everything in the pantry and then donate what you do not want, feel free to do so.

There might be some other items that come up. But this is the only e-mail I am sending.

I will begin selling these items on the 19th of May in an estate sale. The next week we will be packing them to either store or ship.

We are also selling a 1998 Jeep Grand Cherokee. But I don’t have a price for it yet, and I do not want to sell it until we are closer to the date that we should leave.

Home for a big cat

2006-05-15T20:05:00.000-07:00

That is not my cat. This is a hybrid bobcat from Big Cat Rescue. Shaggy is probably close in size. In fact, I know this because my brother has a stuffed one that served as the focal point of the living area's decor in the single wide he lived in while in college--a place friends and family referred to as the Bull Pen. Shaggy is about the same size as the bobcat that sat (well, he was actually in more of a stalking pose) on the bookshelf.

Anyway, I think Shaggy would fit in quite nicely at Big Cat Rescue. I've e-mailed them (I'm serious). I'm hoping they will take him.

ABC's of my life

2006-05-14T18:37:00.000-07:00

I forgot to say that Minnie had tagged me with this meme.

Accent: The East Texas Twang. Different than West Texas, I am told.

Bible Book that I like: Genesis.

Chore I don't care for: Changing poopie diapers?

Dog or Cat: Hmmm . . . I guess cat, but right now I'd rather have neither. But we have a cat.

Essential Electronics: Computer.

Favorite Cologne: Just don't have one.

Gold or Silver: Mainly gold. But my ears are not pierced anymore--too much trouble. My wedding ring is gold. My Aggie ring is gold. So gold it is.

Handbag I Carry Most Often: This pink one I got at Target. I just watched this TV special about how the handbag was the big status symbol for women. I'm not even anywhere near the status ladder.

Job Title: Mom.

Kids: Gwendolyn Elise Miller, 1 year, Caleb Lee Miller, 4 years.

Living Arrangements: One great, wonderful, adventurous husband who is in Australia. Two kids, and one very sweet, though slightly overweight cat that would love to come live with you.

Most Admirable Trait: I don't know, but one thing that my parents have given me is a very welcoming nature towards just about anybody. I still remember my dad saying, God doesn't tell us to agree with others he just tells us to love others. My parents live this out and I hope--really hope that I have that trait as well.

Naughtiest Childhood Behavior: I had, and still deal with an explosive temper. I used to beat my head on the floor when I didn't get my way. Which as I recall happened quite often. I was okay in the seventies when there was lots of shag carpet. But Elise does the same thing and we have concrete floors. She DID NOT pick this up from me. I stopped beating my head on the floor when we installed the concrete floors.--just kidding. The story goes that I stopped beating my head on the floor when I discovered linoleum. I don't know what Elise's problem is.

Overnight Hospital Stays: I had my left ovary removed when I was a junior in high school because it had been obliterated (actual term used by doctor) by a cyst the size of a large cantaloupe or a small watermelon whatever you want to call it.

Phobias: I'm pretty phobia free.

Quote:

It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to
remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one
day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to
worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only
in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one
or other of these destinations. . . . There are no ordinary people. You have
never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations--these are
mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals
whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit--immortal horrors or
everlasting splendors.--C.S. Lewis

Religion: I'm with Carol as well. Definitely believe that Christianity is not a belief system, but a relationship with the God of the universe--that is what I'm working on, not on obtaining, but perhaps maintaining, like you would a marriage relationship.

Siblings: I have a brother, Doug, who is 28 (almost 29) and his wife, Margaret. They live in Bend, Oregon where they get to float down the Deschutes river in a drift boat and fly fish. Actually, Doug fishes and Margaret gets to read. This is an image of heaven for me. Doug also plays the guitar and sounds a lot like Johnny Cash. Margaret is a CPA--she is brilliant. My sister, Jessica (who sounds like Allison Krause), teaches Reading to seventh graders, and she is an awesome teacher! So much better than I was my first year. Actually, probably better than I was at year two and three as well. My sister's husband, Bret, is a youth minister, and a wonderfully multi-talented man. He can act, he can draw, he can smash cans with his bare hands--he's that strong! (inside joke.)

Time I Wake Up: Generally early, I need that first cup of coffee before the kids get up.

Vegetable I Refuse to Eat: cabbage, not that anyone ever offers it to me, but I've smelled it before, and if it were offered to me, I'd refuse to eat it. Does Tuna fish sandwiches have vegetables in them? I hate Tuna fish.

Worst Habit: My problem is that I do not easily develop habits. My keys are always in a different place. So is my purse, my sunglasses, my jewelry. I have a difficult time setting up routines and when I do finally get one, if I break it, I'm lost for the rest of the day.

X-rays: only my teeth. Per my dentist: I have little teeth, but they are deeply rooted (in case you were wondering).

Yummy Stuff I Cook: I haven't cooked a real meal in weeks. I'll ask Eric if he remembers what I used to cook.

Zoo Animal I Like Most: The gibbon monkeys. They are really cute!

I am tagging Lori (who could use your prayers, see latest post.) and Terri who found her keys. Terri, I've been there. And I usually drag others with me.

Going home

2006-05-14T18:17:00.000-07:00

This weekend I went to my parent's house to celebrate mother's day.
Mom and dad and Caleb and Elise love riding the four wheeler to go look at the cows. Elise enjoys waving at the cows and saying, "Hi, Cows!" She has become quite the talker of late. While her papa was putting in some dirt around the back of the house for flowerbeds with the front-end loader. (I think that is what it is anyway--I refer to it as the blue tractor.) Elise said, "Wow! That's cool!" Those are fun words from a twenty month old. I will miss being close to home, but when we do come back to visit we will be spending much more time with my family since we won't have a house of our own. It's a great place to stay for a few days.

We sold the house

2006-05-12T09:19:00.000-07:00

My kids woke up and then the home inspectors were at our door. Our house sold the weekend after we put it on the market. I am so glad. And the people that bought it have two children and one on the way.

I don't know why it matters to me, but for some reason it makes me happy that another family with young children will move into this house. I think because I loved watching my children play on the playground. I loved how they played on the porch and laughed in the kitchen. I'm glad that that sort of activity will still go on in our home.

On another matter, Sarah posted about Addison Elisabeth. Grab a box of tissue.

I am too young to give out "life" advice

2006-05-11T19:53:00.000-07:00

But, I am trying to make a just a few decisions right now. I think the first decision I made today was wrong. I have not been living in the right kingdom lately. I've worried, fretted, tried to control things that really are not mine to control, and hurried. So, Bev's post on God and manna was particularly encouraging and helpful. Basically Bev said she would not worry about tomorrow but would gather her manna for today. My mom was here and she basically said the same thing Bev did. I guess these are words that you get to say when you've raised three children and now have grandchildren.

I hope it is okay to mention that she and her family could use your prayers that all is well with a new grandchild, an absolutely beautiful little girl. I don't want to say more because there are people closer to the situation than I who can pass along information.

And it reminded me of words I'd written awhile back. They are words I need to recall.

One more little thing on the Da Vinci Code

2006-05-10T06:05:00.000-07:00

I was on a train from Switzerland to Italy when I met an Australian criminal defense attorney. Per his testimony, he was fairly good at his job, and he had gained a reputation. He said he'd defend a man convicted of a crime, make a lot of money and travel until that money ran out. To his credit, he'd been traveling for quite some time when I ran into him.

I asked him, "How many of your clients do you really believe are innocent?" He said (and I thought this was a great lawyerly answer), "I don't work for nice people, which is why I try to work as little as possible. They generally have done something wrong. But the police have also been known to plant evidence in order to catch someone whom they figure to be a criminal."

It was a brief conversation that occurred years ago, but for some reason, I remember it to this day. In writing about the Da Vinci Code in my previous post, I began to think about this conversation. I think it illustrates one reason why The Da Vinci Code's message resonates within our society and culture. It is not so much that people believe the book is true, but they do think that it points to something that is just not quite right. In our society, where trusted leaders in the political, social, business and religious sectors of our society have let us down, Dan Brown's novel has flourished. I'm not saying that there are not trustworthy political, social, business and religious leaders out there, but there are very few that hold impeccable ethical standards. Impeccable ethical standards require discipline and practice. They require supernatural strength. For example, they require truth telling in every situation; a belief that there are no white lies.

I say this for two reason, first, this is the particular sin I've been convicted of lately. (Just one at a time, please!) A few months ago someone from my church asked me to do a bit of editing for some material our church puts out. The next weekend he called to ask how it was going. Here is what I should have said, "I haven't even begun to look at it. In fact, I haven't even touched it since you gave it to me. I was going to procrastinate until the very last minute and then turn it in to you." Okay, I could have probably left out that last sentence and still told the truth. But I actually said something like, "Ummm . . . I have looked at it, and, well . . . I'm still working on it. Ummmm . . . I’ll get it to you tomorrow if you need it." Basically, I lied. To tell the truth, I can't remember exactly what I said, and that makes lying difficult.

The funny thing is nothing would have happened if I had just told the truth. This was volunteer work. He would not have docked my pay. In fact, I later e-mailed him and confessed that I'd lied, and indeed he was very gracious, he reacted the way I believe Christ would act; he forgave me. As I said there are no harmless white lies, my actions revealed a woman that wanted to appear more "together" than she really was. And these little “harmless” untruths were adding up and beginning to paint a beautifully false and cracked facade.

One that was not easy to maintain.

I'm learning, and I'm a little slow, that Jesus meant it when he said that his yoke (his way of living and of interpreting the Jewish Torah) is easy. Jesus is right, the truth is easier to bear. Or at least remember.

Honestly, it is just now that I am realizing the depths to which I must go to present an authentic person. If someone I deem as a complete stranger treats me as an acquaintance, I have to work not to fake it and pretend I know her. If I'm feeling rotten, I'm still likely to give a genuinely fake smile and say, "I'm fine." If I'm angry at my husband, I'm likely to say with very tense and "not fine" body language and facial expressions, "Okay! Fine!"

I don't have it all worked out yet. Telling the truth in every aspect involves taking off layers and examining areas where I never realized I was being untruthful. I have on just a couple of occasions told someone that I just lied to them. One was my son. I am now very careful to speak only truth to the best of my ability. Frankly, my words have taken some people aback. People aren't used to such honesty, and in truth neither am I.

I'm also learning that truth telling is easier to do around a bunch of other people who are committed to it. And so here is my second point: I was in my hometown this weekend where Kyle Henderson is doing a sermon series on Dan Brown's book The Da Vinci Code. He admits that in part of the novel Dan Brown tells the truth. I hadn’t, up until that point, heard anyone from a pulpit admit that Brown says anything that is true. I was genuinely shocked. But I thought about my struggles and victories over this sin--lets call it what it is, a sin--and I thought about the light that a community of truth tellers might be able to give to a dark world.

Don't get me wrong, I strongly believe it is right for pastors to explain our history, to lend credibility to our Bible, and to refute the claims that Dan Brown makes. But I think we also need to admit when Dan Brown is right. And he is right in asserting that The Church has not lived up to Christ's ideals. Dan Brown is taking advantage of a prevailing attitude of distrust that exists among society at large regarding the church, and he has attacked it at an extremely vulnerable point--it's incoherent stance on the status of its women. For example, when a church prints out bulletins listing the titles Minister, Youth minister, Senior Adults Minister, and Director of children's ministries it looks hypocritical to anyone not raised in a church.

To a former English teacher it looks awkward.

Frankly, I can't explain why women can't be pastors if they can preach in a service, lead music, write curriculum. I'm not that smart. Someone needs to tell me so that when I run into all of these people led astray by Dan Brown's novel I'll be able to give an answer. Dan Brown's book asserts that the church (not Christ—a very important distinction) has orchestrated a systematic cover-up to deny women equal status with men. And, while he builds his case on unorthodox Christian views and false claims about history, his assertion--that women get an unfair shake in the history of the church is true and everyone sees it, so I can see how Dan Brown can mislead the public. I have heard a lot of talk about the false claims made by The Da Vinci Code, and experts are right in doing so, but I've only heard one sermon (from Kyle Henderson at First Baptist, Athens, call the church and ask for a copy.) that even brings up the Elephant in the living room--Dan Brown's truthful assertion--that most churches don't believe women should hold an equal status with men.

Now we can point to lots of “progress”, but the progress has led to a seemingly random application of scripture. For example, churches that have men pastors and women teachers that do the exact same thing look as though they want to appear as something they or not. People might think these churches are hiding something. This is not how a church wants to appear in light of the Dan Brown novel. I'm not saying that churches who have these positions are wrong in doing so, but if pastors are going to boldly address the real issues raised by Dan Brown's novel (as opposed to how many panes of glass are in the pyramid at the Louvre) then this is a big one. The Da Vinci Code will generate spiritual seekers. They will come to our churches. And if we are going to tell them the truth about The Da Vinci Code, we'd better be ready to tell the truth about ourselves, and part of that will be a need to explain the church's stance regarding a woman's role in ministry.

Do any churches apply the following passage from Corinthians? “Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.” What would church be like if women never spoke when they went?

Okay . . . forget I asked.

What about this passage in Timothy? “I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent.” And if we are going to strictly adhere to this verse, don’t women need to obey the stuff above it? The verse immediately prior to it says that women should not braid their hair or wear gold or pearls or expensive clothes.” I believe in a high view of scripture, but what do I do with this? And what passage says women can not be pastors? I mean, if there is a specific passage that says women should not teach men then there must be one that says that women can not be pastors. I grew up Southern Baptist and we have lots of women teachers that teach men but we don’t have women pastors because women are not supposed to teach men. And, well, I’m confused.

Then to top it all off there is this verse in Galatians that says, “there is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” The passage reads like something you might put in gold embossed letters and a frame, but what if we were supposed to actually act that out?

I just have these questions. I don’t believe The Da Vinci Code is true, but it looks like something is wrong; the church looks like it has done something wrong, and that allows Brown the opportunity to plant false evidence.

I was going to write a post today . . .

2006-05-09T12:25:00.000-07:00

But I've read too much stuff that is better than anything I have to say.

Read:

Addie links to the story of her father-in-law. He is a Palistinian and a former PLO sniper. You must read his story. Amazing story!

Read Minnie's post on sleep deprivation and the Pakistani nurse. . . well, you just have to read it. Minnie you are in my prayer and it is good to see you are in good hands. I am priviledged to know many of the people that have helped Minnie out through all of this. They are vivid examples of what it means to be the Body of Christ.

Read Sarah's post the night before she had their little girl (Addison Elizabeth--beautiful)!

Also, read Lori's cleaning tips! Very good information (let me add that you really don't need lemons to pull of the microwave cleaning tip, just use water.)

Terri is now at a different site than the one on the side-bar, but she wrote about her girls' store. Households that contain three or four girls just seem to take on a life of their own.

And Amy at Humble Musings has a great post about matching a child's talents and passions with assignments.

Tim Challis writes about not only the need to help others but also the need to admit needing help. I can especially identify. I've had to learn to ask others for help lately. And I know being a blessing is as great or greater than being blessed.

It's 3 a.m. and I am blogging

2006-05-06T02:37:00.000-07:00

I thought it was later. There are storms here right now and so I can't trust my clock, so I just got up and did a load of laundry and then found out it was 3:00 in the morning.

So here is what I am doing:

Looking up the origins of the Haka.

Eric told me that he went to a New Zealand vs. Australia Rugby match and they performed the Haka! I've blogged about this before because an area football team does it here. It really is worth seeing. Anyway, it seems that the Haka has been a long standing tradition of the New Zealand All Black Rugby Team (which refers to their uniform, not their race.) I found the history especially intriguing because, well, it is 3 a.m. in the morning and my internal intrigue meter is out of whack.

So I thought I'd pass on this entirely useful information, but then I started surfing again and I found . . .

. . . a funny joke at Prayn' Lady's blessing.

And then . . . I found out Sarah is having the baby! On Sunday!

Why do we fast?

2006-05-03T22:54:00.000-07:00

Or why do some people fast? This is what I thought about after reading Robin's post and while I was cleaning the house. It goes on the market tommorrow.

I guess we do it because Jesus did it. And if we want to be like Jesus we should do what he did.

In that case, Robin, just 39 more days!--that was a joke.

Anyway why did Jesus fast? I've always thought it was to better commune with God. But after he fasts then he is tempted. And I'm wondering, did Satan tempt him at his weakest or at his strongest point?

Da Vinci Code

2006-05-01T18:50:00.000-07:00

On the way to and from home I was listening to the radio. Christian talk radio is all over The Da Vinci Code. Personally, I owe Dan Brown a thank you letter. I've never been so well versed in the history surrounding the canonization of the Bible. It truly was an amazing and divine and human process. One that I've become acquainted with because of The Da Vinci Code. I'm not blaming anyone that more people don't know how the Bible was canonized, if it were not for Dan Brown's book, most sermons on the topic would elicit a resounding yawn echoed by deafening snore throughout the church pews of America. But now, well, first through third century history--this is riveting stuff!

Of course all of this is good information for the already convinced. But what about those who would listen to that radio show and liken the commentator to a used car salesman?

I have to admit I am somewhat taken aback at the fact that so many seemingly smart and intelligent people are taking Dan Brown's book as, well, gospel. Why? I think it boils down to a distrust of authority. This issue gets flung around quite a bit. Those in authority decry societies lack of acceptance of it, and those who are constantly rebelling against it have a steady stream of examples from school teachers to politicians to religious leaders to parents who have abused their authority. The book came out amid torrents of reports of the Catholic church's systematic cover up of pedophiles within the priesthood. This makes it difficult for a priest to stand in front of his parishioners and tell them that someone just like him many, many, many years ago read a bunch of manuscripts and decided which ones were most truthful. Catholics are also having to defend a heap of traditional beliefs that prove burdensome anyway. Why can't priests marry? Did Mary have other children? Why is birth control wrong? I only say this because I, personally, haven't heard that many evangelicals or protestants question their faith because of this book. But I have heard some of my Catholic friends begin to ask some pointed questions about their beliefs.

But the distrust of authority exists along the religious and political spectrums. Conservatively minded individuals for years have been tuning in to Rush Limbaugh to learn how our media twists the truth to convey what they want the vast unsuspecting masses to believe, how much easier would it have been two thousand years ago? Meanwhile, we grew up reading Animal Farm, we are not dummies, we know how people in power can lead huge numbers of people astray. So all of this begins to look like a neverending argument between those who are in authority and those who serve. It is a centuries old war that no one will truly win unless you believe that Christ has won it already. Jesus, the final authority in one of his final displays of authority, kneels down and washes the disciples' feet. This action helps to define his action on the cross as well as direct the future actions of his disciples. Jesus says--no, he shows that ones who are in authority serve.

Please understand, Dan Brown's book is fiction, but we can't just expect to win people over with the better argument. There is simply too much information out there for people to make informed decisions.

So what do we do?

Picket the movie?

No, I think we need to realize that if this movie can shake the faith of Christians and provide an alternative faith for spiritual seekers, then maybe it is time for a little self examination. Because, after all, we have the light. Right? I mean, if you are trying to find your way out of a dark room, whose most responsible? The one with the flashlight.

I can present all the historical facts I want, but if the person whom I am trying to convince thinks the historian and priest are liars, then I won't get very far. (And perhaps it should be noted that if someone is persuaded by Browns book, they were probably not led astray by it--they were probably pretty lost to begin with.) Perhaps I need to step back a little. Live a bit more quietly, serve a bit more humbly, ask a few more questions. Above all I need to remember that I am called, not just to follow Christ, but to be like him. And if Christ makes such a crazy demand, he must empower me to do so.

I do believe that for those who are looking for reasons to be their own authority The Da Vinci Code gives them arrows in their quiver. No amount of historical fact will persuade these individuals at this point in there lives. So it is imperative that I lead a lifestyle that blesses those around me. That is in tune with the creator, that celebrates life in a manner in keeping with Christ. I can't have the best argument in a world that doesn't believe truth exists. But I can introduce Christ and allow the relationship to build from there.

picture for dad

2006-05-01T08:15:00.000-07:00

Caleb drew the following picture. All we had out at the time was a pink hi-liter, if you were wondering. He let me diagram just in case you might not be able to tell what it was. I particularly like that in his picture of our backyard (upper middle and left) he included outerspace and heaven.

Reading with Caleb

2006-04-30T13:25:00.000-07:00

I found these abridged versions of classic children's literature at Hobby Lobby of all places. And since they were about two bucks each and hardcover and had pictures I decided to get a couple. One was The Wizard of Oz and we read until Dorothy gets to the scarecrow. The scarecrow wants to go with Dorothy because he doesn't have a brain.

"Mom, how does he know?"

"What?"

"How does he know how to talk?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, how can he talk if he doesn't have a brain?"

"Well, I guess we'll have to see?"

"He probably only has half a brain."

Hard to get pictures of Elise

2006-04-29T11:37:00.000-07:00

Here is the famous, "where did it go?" sign.
My Oakleaf Hydrangeas are almost at full bloom.

I just can't make her sit still unless I put her in a straight jacket--and they just don't make those is cute spring colors.

Two deductibles

2006-04-27T19:31:00.000-07:00

Evidently I cannot be both at fault and a hapless victim in one wreck--at least in Texas anyway. So I have to pay both deductibles before they will fix my cars. I thought I might have to only pay one.

Oh well.

Right now I am trying to decide whether or not I want to have another garage sale. I haven't made arrangements for the kids which means they will be "helping" me if I decide to do it. Here are the reasons for a garage sale at this moment:

I will be able to touch up the trim in the hallway once I am able to get to the can of paint that is behind the weight set that is behind the ladder that is behind the table with all of the left over CD's and tapes that no one wanted last week that is behind the two chairs with the broom stick across them holding all of Eric's shirts that he wore in Junior High and some sweaters wrapped in plastic that I found in his closet that I have never seen him wear in six years of marriage.
Once I sell all the kitchen items on the three tiered make-shift shelving rack that I engineered with scrap wood and our Wonder Ladder (I think that is what they call it anyway--and it really is a pretty handy item) I can change the two light bulbs in the great room.
One car can go back into the garage so that I won't crash into it again.
Decrease the amount of emergency savings I will need to pay to fix two wrecked vehicles.
Good chance someone will buy the fake ficus tree.

Disadvantages:

I have to put out garage sale signs. This is the part I most hate about garage sales.
I have to set everything out again. Then I have to drag everything that did not sale back into the garage.
I have to get up early and allow my son to watch copious amounts of Noggin while I am outside.

Not a good day.

2006-04-25T19:15:00.000-07:00

Conversation with Allstate Rep:

"I was wondering, if I backed my car into my jeep do I have to pay both deductibles or can I just pay one."

He didn't know. He said he's never had this happen. That's odd. I mean statistically speaking my cars are going to spend more time in close proximity to one another than to any other cars. To me it makes sense that this sort of thing should happen more often. But, evidently, my fender benders were the first of this sort for this agent.

It has been a long day.

I knew I'd do something like this!

2006-04-23T04:53:00.000-07:00

Okay,

I knew, in my distracted state (I drove all the way from my house to church last night listening to the Spanish music station--I realized it as I pulled into the parking lot) that I would forget a few people whom I regularly read. Part of the problem is that I haven't been reading people as regularly because, well, a lot is going on here.

Tammara at Mighty and Sublime, I think, would enjoy being with the other mom's at the dinner party.
Jeff at A man of faith is welcome to come with Shelley, but he'd probably be more comfortable in the coffeeshop group.
Malcolm Gladwell wrote Tipping Point and Blink. If you have a Blue Clues aged kid, read the chapter on it in Tipping Point.

See what I am up against!

2006-04-22T19:59:00.000-07:00

I crave an uncluttered lifestyle. Sadly, genetics and marriage have done little to bring relief in this area:

Here is a post from my mom (Mom, thanks for posting, by the way):

Leslie, I'm so glad that I have kept all of your things from preschool,grade
school, junior high, high school and college. Otherwise, I'm sure they would go,
too! And they probably wouldn't even have made the garage sale - straight to the
trash! What a horrible thought! Your past gone forever! Mom

And here is a post from Eric:

FYI to the BlogWorld - I will NEVER give up the purple and black checked
shirt that I wore to my Junior High Homecoming dance back in 1988. .

He's right, no one would buy it.

Coming soon, opportunity to own (for free) items that did not sell at my garage sale.

six weird things

2006-04-22T18:51:00.000-07:00

Okay, I've done this once and then lost it. But now that I've finished the garage sale! Yea! I'll post.

I sold books door to door to help pay for college and a trip to Europe.
I hate asking people to do things for me. Which, those in sales know, makes 1. all the more odd. (i'm getting better at asking for help though.)
As a young child I would herd sheep through the streets of our neighborhood (okay this is a slight exageration.) I would actually walk the sheep like you might walk a dog, though one time I tried to walk the sheep while riding a bike. It did not go well.
I do not like the different foods on my plate to touch, but I generally like casseroles.
I will not eat chips with residue on them--no cheetos, no sour cream and chives potato chips.
Hmmm . . . I'm really very normal. But here's one more: hmmmm . . . still thinking. Got it: I often use the European way of eating with my knife and fork. But I always forget to lay my knife and fork and spoon parallel to one another to indicate that I am finished with my plate.

Garage Sales tomorrow!

2006-04-21T19:34:00.000-07:00

Look for Red and White signs in South Grapevine if you are interested.

Flat world

2006-04-21T10:41:00.000-07:00

I wrote the following in October (I say this because I refer to some things that took place awhile ago). For some reason I kept it in the draft section, but a post by Scot Mcknight made me think about it again, and when I found it, I realized I'd never posted this piece. Okay, brake is over. I'm going to go get a diet coke, and bug spray, and continue to put together my garage sale.

Our world is becoming flatter.

This new reformation, as some are referring to, is occurring in religion, politics, the media, TV, etc. But I'll deal with signs in religion:

New Book by Rob Bell entitled Velvet Elvis. He is championing the need for all of us to engage the scriptures, to discuss in community what the Bible says. Encouraging conflict, but the kind of conflict that drives us forward. He is democratizing the study of theology or flattening the hierarchy.

He relates the following: Rabbi's generally began their public teaching and training of disciples at age thirty. A Rabbi's students followed him everywhere, and only the best and brightest became disciples of the Rabbi--the rest took up jobs--like fishing.

So when Jesus calls a bunch of fishermen as disciples he is calling the cast-offs. He told a bunch of fishermen that they could be like him. --(pg. 131, Velvet Elvis).

New Book by Donald Miller Blue Like Jazz

But Miller's main theme is dissatisfaction with the way
Christianity is taught and practiced. He says the religion ought not to be
presented as a formula, its tenets broken down into bullet points to fit
modern Western thought patterns. At its heart, Miller argues, Christianity
is relationship. Interested people should be presented with biblical stories
rather than steps to salvation. Miller also believes that many Christians
behave correctly but their actions lack meaning: "The tough thing about
Christian spirituality is, you have to mean things. You can't just go
through the motions or act religious for the wrong reasons... This thing is
a thing of the heart." However, Miller offers only faint suggestions to
replace the formulaic or systematic approach to faith that he denounces.

--Publisher's Weekly

I included more of this quote than I wanted because the last sentence seems ironic. A book eschewing formulaic or systematic approaches to Christianity is not going to offer new ones. It will simply offer a story--which Blue Like Jazz does.

More and more churches are pastored by pastors who do not have seminary degrees. My brother-in-law was told by a pastor who has his doctorate not to waste his time, unless it was something he really wanted to do. (The same pastor told my sister that she had better have one if she wanted to go into ministry.)
My own church just did away with two levels of hierarchy in its small groups ministry.
The fascination with the DaVinci Code. The Da Vinci Code lashes out at the hierarchy of the Catholic church and its subjugation of women, (I admit, The Da Vinci Code has little basis in historical fact.) but people are drawn to it because they are disillusioned with their faith. The story makes sense to people because they look around and it does seem like women get the short end of the stick in the Catholic Church. And (after the pedophile cover-up) it makes sense to the average person on the street that those priests could be hiding something. Most church attendees lack the historical background in the Christian faith (because churches don't teach it and public schools certainly don't) so The Da Vinci Code, a book about why women aren't priests and why priests are crooks, seems believable. Satan attacks our weaknesses in theology; after all, he attacks our own physical weakness, why not our theological ones as well.

These are a few of the signs that Christianity is changing. God isn't, but the way we understand Him and relate to Him is.

Wonderful cathartic experience of a garage sale

2006-04-20T19:24:00.000-07:00

I've put off my garage sale until Saturday. I'm not sure you gain that much from a Friday/Saturday garage sale anyway. If I garage sale shop on Saturday, I usually stop at the one dayer anyway. Besides, it rained all of today and I really need to set things outside in order to get them organized. There really is no other way.

Meanwhile I'm savoring the cathartic eurphoria that comes with a big garage sale. I love getting rid of things. I love reclaiming the space. I hate . . .hate keeping things I might use in the future. Where do I put it? And if I do keep it I usually I forget I have it (or I forget where I put it), and so then I go out and by another one. And then I have two of whatever it was I wasn't sure I really needed in the first place.

And right now, I'm cleaning out my husband's office and closet. He is in Australia and there is nothing he can do about the fact that I intend to cull his '80's greatest hits CD collection (note* he has an entire collection of "greatest hits" CD's. I mean after ten greatest hits CD's of eighties music, just how great can they be?) and I'm going to find out what he is storing in all of those shoe boxes in his closet.

He told me they were all empty.

We'll see.

New Sidebar

2006-04-20T06:39:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to do this for ages! Finally a friend asked me a question about which blogs I read, and I told her that I keep most of that information on Bloglines (though that is outdated as well.) But the links on the side of the page do reflect something about the author of the blog, and in my case they said the following--Does not stay up to date on her material (some of those blogs were not even in use anymore); Ignores her blogging friends--there are several people that I read that were not on the sidebar (but they are now :) ).

Anyway, I decided to put the other blogs or bloggers into categories. BUT as you know blogs are usually much too broad for these categories to be rigid. Plus I'm not one to particularly like being labled, so I do this with a little bit of misgiving--but here goes:

"Dinner Club" If I were to start a dinner club, I'd get these people together because I think they would enjoy each other's company. These are people (well all women actually) who share similarities (Most are moms. Most have children still at home. All have blogs.) I look forward to adding more to this list, I like big gatherings. That being said, most, though not all in this group, read each other to some degree, so I'll move on.

The second group includes blogs where I frequently lurk (and sometimes post)--if I saw these people at a coffeeshop I would take my book and my extra-hot cafe mocha with whip . . . oh, and decaf and (I hate to admit this) eavesdrop. Or I might introduce myself and join them depending upon circumstances. Chris and Steve: are from my church and have great blogs. Chris's oftentimes tackles controversial theological issues in a way that makes sense to average people--like me. Bowden McElroy is a pastor and a counselor (which qualifies anyone for sainthood in my book) and he provides useful material about family and child matters. He also posts a sort of "interesting blogs of the week" post once a week.

Andrew Hamilton is in Perth, Australia, so I am reading him a little bit more right now. One note: Australia is as big as the continental United States. Andrew is in Perth and we are moving to Sydney, so it is as if I am reading someone's blog in San Francisco to get a feel for what it is like to live in Jacksonville, North Carolina.

Scot Mcknight After one days' reading of this, I think you can just walk across the stage and grab your Divinity degree diploma.

Brian McLaren's a bit controversial, but I think he is often taken out of context. Big Emerging Church leader. Plus he is (I believe) an English major who is now a preacher, so, there is hope. Here's at least one that is gainfully employed and not an English teacher.

Amy Scott is funny, funny, funny and writes beautifully. Also, by all indications has a huge readership among people with large families. She homeschools too.

Tim Challis says he started out blogging as a way to let the relatives know about his kids, now look at him!

The Help Desk list refers to people who frequently provide useful information of various flavors. I'll let you look at your leisure.

UPDATE: Just added--had trouble finding him--Rick Cassels who just led a youth weekend at a very unique locations. Ummm . . . If Rick wanted to come with Terri to the dinner party, I'd let him in.

Things to do list

2006-04-18T18:04:00.000-07:00

UPDATE

Okay, I need to be making a to-do list. But I'd rather blog--so here is the compromise. It really is not worth reading.

Done!, I need to do!, after I'm in Australia

Clean baseboards that have never ever been cleaned.
Sell two cars, yet still manage to have at least one until we leave.
Meet with realtors.
Plant pretty flowers in the front yard.
Basically sell all our earthly possessions, particularly anything with a plug. Those item do not work in Australia and converters can get messy.
Find nice home for nice cat, who by the way is very tolerant of children.
Have the handyman repair all those little things that slightly annoy me but with which I have learned to live for the past year or two.
See my family before we leave.
See Eric's mom before we leave.
Get physicals and special chest x-rays from a specially certified doctor so that we can get Visas.
Call the donation place for all of the stuff we are not selling, storing, or shipping.
Call the carpet cleaners.
Oh yes, do things with my kids so they will know they still have parents.
Celebrate Easter.
Start back on my 90 day Bible which has gone on hiatus for the last three weeks.
Cancel my gym membership.
Return book to friend.
Take care of my 5,518.00 I saved up for teacher retirement when I taught. It is such a piddling amount they've just offered to give it back to me.
Hook up Vonage.
Check out a new Blog service for my Australia Blog.
Find a place to live.
Find a way to live without furniture for several weeks until our furniture arrives.
Donate all non perishable food items.
Maintain the lawn.
Did I mention the cat already?
Meet with and say a final goodbye to family and friends.
Call Kari
Have an estate sale.
Meet with Felicia and let her make an offer on all our stuff.
Have movers come and make estimates for shipping and storage.
Have movers come and move the stuff.
Sell refrig to neighbors.
Convince Eric to let go of some of his clothes from high school days.
Make one Grand trip to Ikea for easily packable items that are useful
Buy a sewing storage container.
Buy a small DVD player for the airplane ride. Buy activity books with Spiderman on them.
Buy drugs for airplane ride--dispense them to fellow passengers if my kids become unruly on the flight.--kids are on zyrtec, will give to fellow passengers if they request.
Find a church close to where we live.
Buy a Bosu ball and a couple of home gym items.
Call the dentist about suspicious looking place on back tooth.
Get dental records
Get medical records
Get passports
Submit receipts.
Clean refrigerators.
Clean out all cabinets.
Touch up paint in house.
Find way to patch hole in wall.
Ask neighbors for Table for Garage Sale
Repair some outside stuff.

This is better than anything I can come up with.

2006-04-18T18:00:00.000-07:00

Sarah sent the Following to me by e-mail. I didn't ask if I could just post it, so Sarah, I hope its okay. This is great encouragement and a humbling perspective. Sarah is just beginning her blog--you should stop over if you get the chance. (I'd put it in block quotes, but that always messes up the wrap around feature on blogger--does anyone else have that problem?)

Leslie, here is the passage I mentioned the other day that I read from Streams in the Desert and thought of you:

(referring to Hebrews 11:8) "Abraham did not know where he was going--it simply was enough for him to know he went with god. He did not lean as much on the promises as he did on the Promiser. And he did not look at the difficulties of his circumstances but looked to His King--the eternal, limitless, invisible, wise, and only God--who had reached down from His throne to direct his path and who would certainly prove Himself.

O glorious faith! Your works and possibilities are these: contentment to set sail with the orders still sealed, due to unwavering confidence in the wisdom of the Lord High Admiral; and a willingness to get up, leave everything, and follow Christ, because of the joyful assurance that earth's best does not compare with heaven's least.

{This is my favorite part:}In no way is it enough to set out cheerfully with God on any venture of faith. You must also be willing to take your ideas of what the journey will be like and tear them into tiny pieces, for nothing on the itinerary will be happen as you expect {that applies to life in general, I'm thinking}.

Your Guide will not keep to any beaten path. He will lead you through ways you would never have dreamed your eyes would see. He knows no fear, and He expects you to fear nothing while He is with you.

Leslie, when I first read this I felt like it asked the impossible, but the more times I read it, it's almost like a cheer--kind of a battle cry to take into the unknown. The details and task lists are probably so overwhelming, but in a matter of weeks this part will be over, and you'll be starting out on such an amazing adventure. Part of me envies you! {a little part, but a part nonetheless}

Thanks, Sarah. I just sent The Pressure's Off by Larry Crabb overseas with my husband (he'd better bring it back because it is overdue at the library--don't want the feds tracking us down in the Outback over this). The overall lesson of the book is to not confuse the Blessor with the blessing. A close personal relationship with the living triune God is the ultimate blessing. It is not that it is a bad thing to pray for blessings, but it is wrong to try to manipulate God in order to get what you really want. Abraham, Moses, David, Jesus, John--all of these men spent time in the desert (okay, I'm going to Sydney, Australia--hardly a hardship I know, but stick with me) and all of them said in either word or deed they'd rather have God than blessings. Abraham, in the sacrifice of his son, seemed to take this to extremes. I'm not sure in what way I need to take this lesson right now, but I do believe I need to take it.

One other thing, while the spackling dries in my son's room, I like reading something in scripture, or in a book, and then I hearing echoed in a word from a wise friend. It makes me think that God is giving me a little bit of confirmation about what he is trying to tell me.

Finding Church

2006-04-18T10:21:00.000-07:00

One of the things I've been doing lately while waiting for the spackling to dry in the nail holes, and when I probably should be doing other things is scouting out churches.

I come from a very good church, so I have high expectations. But in reflecting on all of this I've decided that I'm not sure how to go about examining the criteria. And as I've thought, "I want a church that does . . . " I've become aware that what I want isn't the issue. A pastor friend of mine says that most all church members join your church as a consumer. A pastor is responsible for turning church consumers into church contributors.

I don't want to be a consumer.

Plus there is a sense of urgency. Our time in Australia is relatively short, we don't want to waste it (which is probably how I should think about life in general . . . but that is another matter). So here are some questions I'm reflecting on and praying about:

What does God want us to do during this time?
What beliefs does the church absolutely need to adhere to. What beliefs can we "let slide" so to speak.
What is God doing in His church--the universal church? (I guess, in making a global move, I've begun to think more globally.)
Where can we best use our talents, skills, etc.
What can we learn from this new church? What can we take with us back to America?
How can this church assist us in reaching those who don't know Christ?
What would the perfect church look like to me? To Eric? What of those characteristics do we really want? (I hesitate in asking this question because sometimes I think God can place us in situations where we don't get the "church of our dreams", but it still might be the Church God intends we have.)

Anyway, gotta run.

My speedy husband

2006-04-16T19:08:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure why some people consider TriAthlons a form of recreation, but my husband is one of them.

Palm Sunday Sermon

2006-04-15T18:56:00.000-07:00

I just listened to Rob Bell's Palm Sunday service(It is available for download). He gives the historical context of Jesus's entrance into the city of Jerusalem for passover Sunday.

In the sermon Bell references Mathew 20:18-20:

18When Jesus saw the crowd around him, he gave orders to cross to the other
side of the lake. 19Then a teacher of the law came to him and said, "Teacher, I
will follow you wherever you go."
20Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head."

Bell explains that the fox was a veiled reference to the Herod's. Birds referred to the Rulers of Rome. Jesus is saying that his kingdom will not be one of power and dominance. It will not have a seated government. He is telling the teacher that to follow him is not to seek power.

Anyway, I just wanted to share enough so that others might be tempted to listen to it themselves.

This is funny!

2006-04-13T16:21:00.000-07:00

Robin pointed to Kristin's blog. It really is funny

C.S. Lewis, Hitler, and me

2006-04-13T15:06:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading The Magicians Nephew to Caleb. It is the first book in The Chronicles of Narnia series. Anyway, without giving away too much, the two children in the book are in Narnia. They are enchanted by the talking animals and the beauty of the place. They are especially taken with the lion. The boys conniving Uncle Andrew, on the other hand, hates the place. He can't understand the animals or the lion; they speak only gibberish to him. The children experience the most wonderful adventure of their lives. They ride on a flying horse, they talk to a talking lion. They experience a beautiful world. Uncle Andrew has an entirely different experience. He is caged by the animals (they do this because they want to protect him) and then the animals, in an effort to feed him, pelt him with acorns while a very gracious bear gives him an entire beehive. Uncle Andrew is almost literally killed by kindness.

That got me to thinking, I wonder if Hitler would like heaven. I mean, if he got in, would he enjoy it? Would he like a place where all of his thoughts and deeds were known? Would he like a place where all people were joyful, and where he could never "rise to power." What would such a place look like where people with evil intent could never gain so much as a foothold? What would those people do?

Of course on Tuesday I didn't really need to think about Hitler. I hate to admit this, but I have Hitler moments. Moments when I find myself trying to control matters. And people. Sometimes I have the best of intentions. I find myself thinking, "If Eric would just agree with my plan, then his life would be so much easier; therefore, I'll jump up and down and beat my fist on the countertop until. I. Get. My. Way. Because after all my way is the best way (if it were not, I'd get a new way). And God wants what is best for us. Right?" Other times, the intentions aren't even that great, and on Tuesday, I found myself taking my wounded sense of justice out on my entire family in small, subtle and not so subtle ways. Everyone knew I was in a bad mood. And then I thought wow, this must be what Hitler felt like.

It is not fun to realize I can empathize with one of the greatest tyrants known in all of history. And then I began to wonder if I'd like heaven.

And today I think I would. Today, is not Tuesday. Sometime between Tuesday and Wednesday, while painting baseboards in the kitchen I had the come to Jesus meeting I'd been rehearsing for my family--you know the one where I would let them have it, and they would (even Elise, my one year old) realize how much they'd taken me for granted and fall at my feet in sorrow and remorse for their insensitivities. Well, really I'm the one who needed the meeting, but Jesus didn't do what I'd planned for my family. Instead we talked, and He let me know that everything would be okay. That if we are meant to be in Australia, then we will get there. He reminded me that all of this is periphery and that He is what I need to most love.

All that to say that things are going much better now.

Does anyone want a cat?

2006-04-12T08:43:00.000-07:00

We have a beautiful Grey Tabby. He is a bit big (24 lbs.). Goes by the name Shaggy. Indoor/Outdoor cat.

We are back

2006-04-12T00:51:00.000-07:00

Glad to be home. Though home will not be home much longer.

It is three in the morning and I just decided to quit touching up the baseboard trim. Mainly because it was beginning to look worse after I painted it.

I'm just going to hide the rest of it with a couch. Of course people who come to look at our house will wonder what a couch is doing in the dining room. I guess I'll start again tomorrow.

So much to do.

The good thing is right now, in Sydney everyone is just getting off work.

Glad to here Robin and the family are doing okay.
Glad to here Sarah has been sucked into the blogging world.
Glad to here Lori found her ring.

Must

get

some

sleep.

These past few days . . .

2006-04-03T07:53:00.000-07:00

Have been very trying.

Yesterday my granddad passed away.

And so did my father-in-law, Lee Miller. Lee had been battling cancer for two years. We did not think things would happen as quickly with Lee as they did. But all of a sudden, he is gone.

Anyway, my family could use your prayers.

E-mail from Eric

2006-04-01T04:31:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I took Elise to the doctor. She has a boil on her bottom. I've been given antibiotics. Still, Elise has been very uncomfortable lately. I also had the doctor look at Caleb since it seems every time he goes outside and rolls around in the grass he breaks out in a rash. Now both my kids are on Zyrtec. With the Texas drought this is supposed to be the worst allergy season in years.

So that is what we did yesterday.

I heard from Eric this morning. Here is what he did yesterday, which is actually today--if that makes any sense.

"I met a guy from work who took me on a yacht race today in Sydney Harbor. I mean, I’ve been sailing about 2 times in my life and today I’m literally on 20’ swells hoping that this thing does not tip over. The 6man Aussie crew I was with did not look worried so I tried to play it cool, too. We won the race (almost 3 hours) and it was quite a thrill. These guys just do not stop (they must not have kids!)"

Moving and the Blogosphere

2006-03-31T05:55:00.000-08:00

I've been surfing the blogs trying to find a church in Australia.

Here is what I have found so far: Small boat big sea. This is courtesy of Andrew Hamilton whom I found mentioned here.

Granddad

2006-03-28T08:02:00.000-08:00

This is a thank you card that Granddad wrote about three weeks ago to Caleb. I keep reading it and, well, I think he really meant it when he said he was doing very well. I couldn't help but smile a little because this is so typical of my granddad. Despite a long list of health problems, the treatments of which often worked against one another, Granddad almost always remained in amazingly good spirits. Granddad lived, and lived well I might add, to be 82 on everything other than good health. Not that he didn't mind his exercise and eating habits (my grandmother saw to that), he just had had heart trouble ever since I can remember. Several years ago I asked him how he was getting along after a recent surgery. I think this is the one where they put in the defibrulator. He jokingly complained, "The doctor told me I'd be able to play golf! But I'm going back to speak to him because my golf game is just like it was before this surgery."

Now it seems he is with us for just a bit more time--enough time for us to say goodbye.

I know that heaven will overwhelm us. That it is a realm beyond our imagination, but I can't help but think that it won't seem so foreign to my Granddad; he has carved out a place on this earth where heaven dwells. I recall the visits I made to the "Browder B&B" when I was in college. A few times I brought friends and they still ask how my grandparents are doing. He worked diligently at a local food bank, roared at Lions' Club meetings, supported the local football team, the same football team he had played on about 65 years ago. But all of these are details of a man who showed genuine interest in other people. Granddad never met a stranger and towards the end of his life that wasn't just a saying. I can't count the number of times he could make a connection with someone. He would strike up a conversation with a random stranger and find out that he knew their grandmother's neighbor from when the grandmother lived in Houston.

No, heaven will not be a foreign place for him, only a greater measure of what he gave us here on earth. Now, perhaps selfishly, I take some measure of comfort in knowing that he has left a wonderful legacy--I will still spend Christmas and Easter and various other family gatherings with people that have been endowed with my grandfather's personality. His sense of humor and warmth and humility have been passed down to or perhaps soaked up by his descendants and our family gatherings help us glimpse the way God originally intended us to live.

At the end, when a wonderful person, someone who through their generosity and hospitality and unselfishness embodies a picture of heaven, well, we just want to keep them here a little while longer. But I know that soon he will fit seemlessly into a place that treasures those who laugh easily, give abundantly, and serve one another graciously and humbly. God, in his compassion, had allowed us a time to visit, and a time to say good bye. Now I need a greater measure of faith to know that this goodbye is only for a little while.

New Vonage devotee

2006-03-27T10:42:00.000-08:00

I just found out that if we buy Vonage over here then we can choose any area code we want from over here. Then we just take the Vonage phone with us when we go to Australia. Eric and I decided to make 903 our local number because that is where my parents live. We figure that is where we will be making most of our calls and so those calls will all be local. Calls to the DFW area will be long distance, (but not international) so it was a hard decision. But I know my parents will be glad that we can be on the otherside of the world and the call will be cheaper than if we were 90 min. away. I'm going to tell them to apply the savings to an airplane ticket.

Eric and Mini Eric

2006-03-26T00:44:00.000-08:00

Eric and Caleb were in a movie! Okay it was actually a company thing. They needed someone to be a Doctor Evil type character in a business casual outfit and then they needed his protege'. Caleb got a batman suit out of the deal, so he was happy.

Elise at Mimi and Papa's

2006-03-26T00:24:00.000-08:00

I love going to Athens. Here is Elise on Mimi and Papa's porch. We were getting ready for church which can still be a dress up affair in Athens. We hardly ever dress up for our church. The thing about the digital camara is that it isn't instant, so many of the pictures are of Elise's arm or back of her head, or well, nothing. She is never still.
We also visited the Arboretum in Athens. It is a beautiful place.

Okay one more pic--the one where she looks like she is standing still.

Friday Feast

2006-03-25T07:15:00.000-08:00

This is from Carol. Minnie introduced me to her.

Appetizer: How would you describe your personal comfort zone? When I can singularly focus on one thing with adequate time to get it done. (I am very far away from my comfort zone.)

Soup: What is your favorite tree? The yaupon holly's in my front yard. They are always so pretty.

Salad: List 3 foods you'd like to include in your dinner plans for tonight. The beef tenderloin sandwich from Mainstreet Bakery, their tomato basil soup, and chocolate bombe dessert.

Main Course: What is the best advice you've ever been given, but didn't heed? Wait a day before you buy something, even if it is small.

Dessert: On a scale of 1-10 (10 being highest), how much attention do you feel comfortable receiving from others? Couldn't possibly begin to answer this one. Attention for tripping and falling on my face in front of thousands of people: 1. Attention for any accomplishment I've done? Well, I'm getting better at giving credit where it is due, But often I really enjoy all I can get--so, 10.

G'day Mate

2006-03-23T20:12:00.000-08:00

Okay, it is a done deal. We are moving for two years to Australia. Eric leaves Tuesday.

Book Crossing

2006-03-22T11:56:00.000-08:00

Has anyone heard of Book Crossing? I'm thinking of "releasing" some of my books to see what happens. It seems to be a tracking website for books. Why not? They do it grizzly bears and butterflies and harp seals. Why not my copy of A walk in the Woods?

Ch-ch-ch-changes

2006-03-21T10:18:00.000-08:00

We could be moving to Australia. This is a recent development as of Thursday. If it happens, Eric will probably leave Monday.

And so here we are having to make monumental, life-altering decisions at a moments notice.

When I was in college I had this job where I would go to a town in another state and literally go door to door looking for a place to live. Eventually, if you asked enough people, someone would have a basement room or garage apartment for you to stay in. But still, at the beginning of the summer, every year, I would leave Texas with a sort of pit in my stomach because I didn't really know where I would live. I had that same feeling last night. So many decisions need to be made and rolling dice seems like as good a way to make them as any.

Right now Eric and I are trying to decide if we want to sell, lease, just leave our house. Five days ago, if you had asked me, I'd have said we were in this house at least until the kids graduate from college. Now, well, who knows.

Perhaps God led me to fast to show me that giving things up seems very daunting at first, but once we do let them go, it isn't so bad.

But if this is where God wants us . . . I don't know, maybe God's will isn't this narrow thing. Maybe God's will allows us a number of options. Ever wondering if we took the right fork in the road isn't freedom. Perhaps part of living in freedom is knowing that in these matters there are any number of turns we could take. Perhaps God doesn't always urge us to go to a specific place, or job, or person. Perhaps sometimes he just says, "Go. You have nothing to fear. I love you. I've made an entire universe for you. Act in my will, but my will is freedom."

Right now the hardest part is not the trusting God with my life part, but the trusting him with the lives of those I love. There is the very real possibility that we would leave and say a very final goodbye to people we dearly love. But this is always the case and never the case. My grandfather, so perfectly healthy in heart and soul, is not healthy in body. Fortunately--and as I type this my hands are shaking and I need to keep tears from getting between the keys--we don't say final goodbyes to his soul and spirit. All that being said, my Granddad's body keeps defying the odds and he is still with us.

Anyway, it looks more and more as if we are moving. And we could certainly use your prayers.

Aggie's out of the tournament

2006-03-19T14:51:00.000-08:00

I graduated from Texas A & M. And in a few weeks time have become a huge Aggie basketball fan. Until this year I didn't know we had a team.

Anyway, they lost in the final seconds to LSU. And right now Texas is ahead in their game. I can't help but recall the words from the old hymn: "And then do we wonder why others prosper/Living so wicked year after year."

I'm back

2006-03-19T10:37:00.000-08:00

I took a few days off to fast and pray (Though, I couldn't fast from my kids, so it isn't like I had a lot of time to sit Indian style on the carpet and chant). Anyway, since the most I'd ever fasted in the past was about 24 hours (to the minute) I chose seven days--later to become five for reasons I'll explain later--when Eric would be available to help with the kids and I could take a weekend off.

I fasted because I wanted to experience a closer walk with Christ. But here is what I learned.

Fasting is boring.

Very theologically astute. I know.

I also slept better.

I'm not sure what I thought I'd experience. But before the fast I did have this vision of myself clinging to a wooden cross and my Bible while laying face down in a prone position on the concrete floor in front of the refrigerator moaning a prayer for the supernatural strength and endurance required to refrain from diving head first into the ice cream that beckoned me with the voice of Satan just beyond the freezer door.

I also expected delusions and perhaps a visit or two from an angel.

I thought my need for stamina and will power would drive me to depend more upon God, instead I spent most of the time giddy about the amount of weight I lost in a one week period.

How disappointing.

Perhaps I expected too much after just five days.

In the end I realized that God probably saves the visions for people "further along" than me. Maybe all I can grasp right now is the terribly important lesson that fasting is boring. Because that means--for me anyway--that food must be very entertaining for me. I realized how much of my day revolves around planning and gathering and eating food. Since I didn't want to be grocery shopping or spending lots of time preparing food while I was refraining from it, I'd done as much as I could to prepare ahead of time. So I had lots more free time. Don't get me wrong, God made food to be entertaining, but by fasting I realized that my relationship with food (should I have a relationship with food?) needed some recalibrating. I'd have never thought of myself as idolizing food--I'm average weight--but now, well, I don't know.

But, ironically while I was learning the need to perhaps appreciate food less, I was reminded that it is a wonderful blessing from God. Food gives us the opportunity to gather around the dinner table and share God's bounty with others. While fasting, I missed sitting down to share breakfast and lunch with my kids. I missed eating with my family. Just sitting there watching everyone else eat isn't fun. It's like sitting the bench in basketball. Eric and I didn't invite anyone over for dinner this week and I missed that too.

Despite all that, giving up food wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, and I do credit the Holy Spirit for that. When Jesus says that his yoke easy and his burden is light, well, maybe He--light bulb moment here--really meant that. (In the interest of full disclosure I did drink about 32 oz. Of juice a day.) If I had continued the fast I'd have had to find other things to do, but I wasn't in agony.

As it was, I did start repainting the trim in the kitchen.

At the end of the week Eric called and told me that we may have the "opportunity" to move to Australia for six months or perhaps a year or two. I don't know if this will happen (if it does it he will leave in about two weeks), but this fast helped me to realize that sacrifice is not about sacrifice. It is about faith--more specifically it is about believing that God is sufficient. I mean if God can keep me in a chipper mood after five days without so much as a hard boiled egg he'll be there if we need to sell most of our earthly possessions and move to Melbourne.

The other significant call I got came on Friday. It was from my mom. Granddad is not doing well. And Friday seemed to be a low point. So I left for Conroe to see him. (I'll leave it at that for right now.) In the ICU waiting room, I met my mom, my grandmother, my aunt Jeanine, my aunt Sally, Annie my cousin, and Linda and Dalton--more cousins. Visiting hours were limited and the next one was still a couple of hours away, so we sat in a circle and visited with one another. I can not remember a time, no matter the circumstance, when being with my extended family has not been a joy. In the ICU waiting room Linda offered us her homemade chocolate chip cookies which were almost, almost as good as my mom's. We all passed around the tin canister and at first I declined, but then I realized that fasting is not about living up to some standard or trying to win Christ's favor by not eating for the full seven days. It is a spiritual discipline we can use to make ourselves more available to Christ's leading so that we can act as he would in any given situation. So I decided, without guilt, to have a cookie, and then I had another.

I'm quite sure Christ would have done the same.

Time off

2006-03-12T17:49:00.000-08:00

Taking a week or so off. Look forward to posting in a week or so.

Pregnancy Story

2006-03-07T19:43:00.000-08:00

I was inspired by Shelley to record this.

I was in my second semester of teaching English at Haltom Middle School when the guidance counselor stopped me in the hallway and asked, "So when are you and your husband going to have kids?" Now I didn't really know him that well. Even now, I can't recall his name, nor can I remember a single conversation that I had ever had with him before that time. So I thought it was strange that he should ask. And I told him, "Oh, we are going to wait. Maybe in five years. We have two cats and they haven't turned out so well, so we're just not sure about kids at this point."

The next day he stopped me again and asked, "Why are you waiting? Kids are great! If I had known how much fun kids were we'd have had them much sooner." I (while thinking--why are we having this converation?) replied, "We want to travel. I want to get a few years of teaching under my belt. We'll see."

But this time he had stopped me on the way to the bathroom because my stomach was bothering me and I didn't know why. And mainly because of that conversation (and not because of my stomach) I bought a pregnancy test. I had not said anything to Eric, because I had had "pregnancy scares" before and nothing ever came of it. But this is the first time I'd ever actually gone out and bought a pregnancy test.

And it turned out positive.

I thought I was going to die. All of the sudden our five year plan was a one year plan, and when I walked into the bedroom there were two very spoiled, very overweight cats shedding their thick coats onto our clean bed sheets reminding me of my inability to raise disciplined "children" (they really are only "our children" until we actually have children--then they are just cats).

Then I walked into our living room. NFC conference championship game was on TV and Eric had gone into the kitchen to get more food, but he quickly came out of it when I turned off the T.V.

He didn't say anything, because he was utterly shocked, shocked that I would turn off such an important game. I remember that look and I remember thinking, "Oh, you poor man. I am about to deliver you some news that will drastically change your entire life. And we are both clearly not prepared for it."

"We need to talk." He still seemed upset about my turning off the T.V.

"I'm pregnant."

He took the news pretty well. And he genuinely looked excited even if he was shocked as well. He hugged me. And then we sat on the couch and finished watching the football game.

Honestly I wish I could say I was overjoyed at the prospect of having our first child, especially when I know so many that try for so very long for a child and one does not come. But I have a tendency to be a little selfish (though having kids helps to make us less so), and so mostly, I felt overwhelmed.

It has been over five years from that day, and I can happily write that I'm glad things worked out the way they did. Honestly, I can't imagine life without my children. I'm the kind of person who has a tendency to procrastinate. No doubt, I'd still think we were not "ready" for kids. And in fact, there are still times I think I'm not ready for kids. But last night when Caleb and I drank hot chocolate with marshmellows by the fire and talked about our day and the blessings God had given us, I definitely counted him as one of the greatest I'd recieved.

A few of my favorite things

2006-03-06T18:47:00.000-08:00

I'm not a clean freak (much to my mother's dismay--she was a home economics major). In spite, or perhaps because, of that (my not being a clean freak) I have a few items I dearly love. Here they are:

I bought a bunch of handiwipes from Home Depot and I keep them in a plastic bag storage container. They came in industrial size numbers. I use these instead of paper towels (and oftentimes tissue paper). When I use one depending upon the use, I either throw it into the sink or the washing machine (both are close by). I wash them with whatever I'm washing at the time. Eventually they do wear out, but I started out with these about a year ago and I'm still going strong on only the third package.
We have concrete floors and so the Roomba works great for me. My husband got this for me, and I am being dead serious when I say that I think it is quite the romantic gift. It shows that he picked up on the subtle "I hate housework" vibe I was sending.

They now have one that actually mops, but it's a bit pricey.

You can't really tell by this picture, but this chair is hanging from the table. How cool is that! So my Roomba has no problem cleaning the messiest part of my floors! I have a big farm table that can comfortably seat ten, so I needed a lot of chairs. I found my dream chairs at an antique auction once. Eric said that if they didn't go over $250, he wouldn't have a problem with getting them (he was talking about the entire set). They went for $300/piece.

So anyway, I think these chairs (from IKEA) work well for us. Especially right now.

And did I mention they are stackable.

Any cool gadgets that make your life easier that you'd like to share?

On Discipline

2006-03-05T14:07:00.000-08:00

As I've already said, Caleb has been really "testy" of late. When things don't go his way he complains. When I say we are going to go somewhere, he immediately suggests an alternative. When asked to do something, he either ignores me or tells me he is busy. I guess this kind of behavior had sort of snuck up on me, and over the last several days I realized (I guess I'm just slow) that it was persistent. Caleb always complained and always bargained and never obeyed right away.

So he finally got a spanking.

Actually he got three at three different times in one day, but I don't spank often (no, really I mean that--keep reading) and in the course of telling him to stand still in the first two instances, I told him that I'd add a swat if he continued to wiggle. So when I spanked him those first two times, I could tell it didn't really hurt but since I'd already told him that I was only going to swat him once, I didn't feel right about adding another one because the first one was ineffective. So after those two spankings nothing really changed. But last night, the third time he got a spanking, well, it hurt.* And there was an immediate (I'm talking thirty seconds) change in his demeanor for the better. I couldn't believe it. He did everything I asked. He set the table. He helped me cook dinner. When he asked for something and we said no there was no violent protest or bargaining. And now as he is playing Monopoly with dad, he is the model child.

Now, I don't know if I did the right thing. In fact, I'm sure I make mistakes everyday in parenting. And perhaps the reason I had to spank was because I was inattentive to Caleb's behavior earlier. Anyway, in reading the Old Testament I'm impressed with the array of tactic's God uses in dealing with his covenant people. He warns, he shows signs to get there attention. He gets angry. He punishes. He gives them rules. He tells them what to celebrate so they will know what is good. He tells them what to touch and what not to touch. If anything I'm learning that God is in the details. And perhaps I have not been in enough details lately. The Psalms always say that God is slow to anger, so I guess I should be slow to spank. Jesus took a whip to the money changers in the temple, but that was toward the end of his earthly ministry. So if I'm going to spank it probably should be the last resort.

I've heard women describe the Bible as God's manuel for living, and I know it has lots of great information on the subject, but sometimes it just doesn't seem that simple. If God has a three step plan for raising up his people, I've not discerned it. In fact, if he has a three step plan (Hey!, I'd be happy with as many as 12!) for raising up kids I've not read that either. I think God did that for a reason. Or several reasons. Each child is so unique with heights and depth we cannot fathom, how could a book cover everything. And if we could find a pat answer for every parenting problem by going to scripture then we might not talk to others. Or worse, we might not talk to Him.

Not always knowing if I made the right parenting move keeps me humble and it keeps me reliant upon the Holy Spirit. It also reminds me that more than any one parenting move, my ability to be a good parent depends upon my relationship with my father and whether or not I accurately portray Christ to my son. There is grace in knowing that God is in control and while that is no reason for irresponsible parenting it does help me sleep at night.

One other thing

2006-03-03T21:51:00.000-08:00

I guess I'm out to win the "greatest number of posts in one day" award.

But the whole blessing idea came from Lori's "other" blog. She deserves credit.

On Blessings

2006-03-03T20:22:00.000-08:00

Caleb whines. This causes me to whine. And I have learned at the young age of thirty--garble-garble-garble that jumping up and down while pounding your fists on the kitchen countertop and yelling, "IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY AND JUST IN THIS WORLD, PLEASE STOP WHINING WHEN YOU DON'T GET YOUR WAY!" is largely ineffective. It doesn't work if you pound your head against the door either. And sheetrock really can't take the abuse--just in case you were wondering.

Here was yesterday's conversation on the way home from the zoo.

(Everyone is sitting in the car, I'm thinking I'm a great mom for driving all the way to Fort Worth to see the fake alligator. And I'm savoring the connection I now feel with my dear children as we altogether sing songs off of the Steve Green memory verse CD.)

Caleb: Mom, I'm hungry.

Me: Well, Caleb, we are going to stop at Wendy's and get something to eat.

Caleb: I want to go to McDonald's

Me: No, Elise is getting sleepy so we are not going to play today, we are just going to eat.

Caleb: Well Elise doesn't have to play. Elise can just watch.

Me: Caleb, listen, we are going to Wendy's

Caleb: (In a voice that even now as I think about it causes the hair on the back of my neck to stand on end*) Mommmmmmm . . . I wannnnnnt to gooooooo to McDonald's.

Me: No. Anymore whining and we are not going anywhere.

(Silence while we pull into the parking lot of Wendy's.)

Caleb: Mom, can we go to the Snooty Pig (Yes, an actual name of a restaurant we frequent.)

Me: No Caleb, not today.

Caleb: (*same as above) Mommmmmm. . .

Me: (Tossing deep connection with four year old out the window, turning off the cute memory verse CD and turning on Dr. Laura.) We. are. going. home.

Caleb: (Incomprehensible though quite audible meltdown in the back seat of the car.)

So this episode along with a few, well, more than a few, other very similar ones has prompted some reevaluation of my techniques. Generally, I think I'm holding the line okay. But I've seen no change and it doesn't seem to matter what I suggest, Caleb always has another idea. I could say, "Caleb we are going to Disneyworld!" and he would say, "Can we go to Universal Studios?"

This grates.

But I'm taking from my dieting playbook which has exhibited some, albeit slow, success. The rule is:

It is easier to start than it is to stop.

And a slightly different variation:

It is easier to replace than it is stop.

In dieting this means that it is easier to replace my midday snack of food-I-won't-share-with-kids because--darn it--I'm a great mom! And I'd never let them eat that kind of crap . . . with a thirty minute nap and a cup of hot tea by the fire with a Jane Austen novel.

Now, the below conversation is made up for clarity's sake, but it represents our replacement for the conversation above. My son's four, so our conversation didn't flow so smoothly as below. Plus, I can't remember all of what we talked about anyway.

Caleb: Mom, can we stop at McDonald's?

Me: No, not today.

Caleb: (Same whine as above.)

Me: Caleb, let's count our blessings. Can you think of ten right now?

Caleb: I have five Spidermen.

Me: Wow! You already thought of five blessings! Can you think of five more?

Caleb: I played on the computer at the gym. I played at the park yesterday.

Me: Did you play well with others?

Caleb: Yes.

Me: Did you help them to have a good time?

Caleb: Yeah.

Me: Then you were a blessing to others. You see God gave you a blessing because you got to go to the park. Then you used that blessing to bless other people. That is why God gives you blessings--to bless others. You helped me carry my gym bag into the gym, so you blessed me! God made you strong. That is a blessing and you used that blessing--that God made you strong--to bless me.

So anyway, you should be able to get the drift. My life is not a sitcom, so I can't say that Caleb's contrariness has been resolved within thirty minutes and after 20 commercials, but replacing the first conversation with the second seems to be working so. much. better. *sigh of relief* In fact, tonight when we picked Caleb up from the babysitters he opened the door for me and said, "Hey mom, I'm being a blessing!"

And, yes. He is.

Multitasking

2006-03-03T19:56:00.000-08:00

Eric is "working" at the computer (really he is reading posts about Aggie basketball) feeding Elise dessert and giving her a piggyback ride at the same time. He is such a great multitasker.

The Birds

2006-03-03T07:20:00.000-08:00

They are here! Every year the birds come and in Hitchcock horror movie fashion strip all the berries off the two yaupon holly trees in our front yard. It is amazing to watch. They start at the tops of the trees and work their way down.

I thought this was the circle of life at its finest at first. The birds received nourishment and kept all those yaupon berries from just falling on our porch. Unfortunately in record time they moved to the back yard and pooped the berries out all over the back patio.

Still it is an amazing sight (the picture doesn't do it justice) and one I look forward to. I'll just need to try to keep the Jeep from being underneath the trees and remember to move the patio furniture.

Rvised: Just looked it up, these birds are Cedar Waxwings.--Thanks Carol for motivating me to look it up!

Zoo trip yesterday

2006-03-03T06:56:00.000-08:00

We went to the zoo yesterday. We go quite frequently and every. time. we. go. Caleb has to see the Alligator, the one fartherest from the enterance to the park and on the opposite side of the white tigers, which is what I'd rather see. This time you could barely make it out back there among the bushes. It mind's well be fake, and let me just say I have my suspicions. In fact there is a fake alligator at the Rain Forest Cafe in the Grapevine Mills Mall--now that is one scary alligator. It growls and mist comes up from the water. It opens it mouth and sort of charges at people passing by. Impressive.

The alligator at the zoo never moves. Usually you can only see part of it. Once we did see it sort of bob around in the water, but even then I've seen a plastic fishing cork look more lively. All I'm saying is if the Fort Worth Zoo ever needs to make budget cuts, I'd just put in a fake alligator. No one will ever know the difference.

On another note, yesterday they were auctioning off a painting* by Rasha.

Rasha is an elephant.

Now one might find this a bit depressing, especially if your name happened to be Rembrant or Renoir. But I have a painting by Caleb that is equally impressive. I'm getting him some canvases, paint brushes, and paint then we'll be headed to Canton where all fortunes in East Texas are made.

*could not find a link to Rasha's elephant art, but apparently Rasha has competition.

MOM where are you?

2006-02-27T14:00:00.000-08:00

I finally found out why mom won't post.

She can't.

My haloscan comments won't allow her to post without obtaining a URL. Obtaining a URL sounds like something you receive in the mail along with a "free trial" item that you will owe money on if you fail to return it within a three day period.

I don't think I'll be hearing from Mom in my comments section.

AND I was considering taking out the Haloscan code, but I can't find my original template code. I was already stretching my very tiny "techie" gene (probably inherited from my mother) by putting it in there.

The real kicker is I still don't know how to do a trackback (which is the only reason to have Halosca in the first place). Here was my latest attempt.

As I'm typing this though I'm thinking she doesn't have to type in a URL. I think she can just leave that blank.

I'm calling her back.

Rambling piece, probably a bit angrier than it needs to be

2006-02-25T09:00:00.000-08:00

I read Al Mohler's recent column "Are Stay at home Moms "Letting Down the Team?" At first I got a laugh out of the arguments of his--for lack of a better word--adversary, then I began to wonder-- Are we really on the right track? I mean, much of Christian talk radio, conservative evangelical Christianity, and my faith tradition count Mr. Mohler as a teacher in the faith community. But I'm beginning to wonder if his methodology and even his message are really the message and methodology of Christ.

He writes about a recent "Good Morning America" program in which Linda Hirshman, a prominent feminist thinker advocates a new brand of feminism. Her alarm at recent data showing a growing number of bright, articulate, ivy league graduated women leaving the office to change diapers and to be quite literally spit upon leads her to advocate that feminist ideology require those women to stay at the office.

Now I profess, the picture of a radical feminist professor wagging her finger in the face of a college coed while instructing her to, "stay in her place" is funny.

But as I read his piece I got discouraged. Because, well, what change takes place because of the clever words Mohler writes? When we, as conservative evangelicals, continue to engage in a tug-o-war with feminist sometimes it seems like we are pulling them over the line, sometimes we are getting pulled, but no one is going to win this game. Which is why we good Christian people are waiting for God to beam us up in the middle of 5:00 traffic as we sing praises to our loving God and watch all of our cars ram right into Moms in minivans with children that are ages of about eight and above (most people consider the age of eight to be the age of accountability--an idea that has little scriptural backing.)

In light of the current Theology driving Evangelical America: a prosperity gospel that comforts those "blessed" by God with wealth and the Left Behind series's eschatology that promises great reward once we die for "believing" the right creed (these two beliefs fuel one another, but that is another issues), we would be just as well served if Al Mohler sat at home and watched the Olympic's curling event. He preaches only to the choir and the choir, according to our theology, has already done their part by walking down the aisle and getting dunked (though they get extra points if they bring friends). But we spend an awful lot of time tossing out rules to live by to a broken and hungry world? And the result is a world that maintains an even tighter grasp on the rope.

And I guess, what I want to know is, well, the point. What does Christ want us to do? Call people to our team? Or drag those who disagree with our social and political agenda through the mud and into our social and political agenda which by all indexes looks very much the same as from where they came. Divorce? The same. Alcohol? The same. Abortion? The same.

Why bother?

What I have just written is harsh and angry sounding. If it makes anyone feel better, I belong in the group I'm bawling out at this moment. Typically, I am all about love and getting along and compromise and seeing someone else's point of view, but shouldn't we expect more? I think this kind of frantic activity we engage in with little to show for it makes God angry as well.

So, Frankly, I'm dropping the rope.

What do I mean by dropping the rope? Well consider the following:

What would happen if we wrote thank you letters to feminists and said thank you for the right to vote. Thank you for equal pay for women. Thank you for opening college up for women. Thank you. And thank you for encouraging fathers to take a more active roll in parenting.

What if we began inviting our enemies over to our side of the rope to help us pull for those things we all agree upon?

What if we partnered with Gay activists in their fight against A.I.D.S.

What if, together, we built houses for the poor?

What if in our activity we asked them what they believe about Jesus? (Don't ask them what they believe about His church, we already know the answer to that.)

All goodness and truth belong to God and most everybody no matter their religion or lack thereof does good and true deeds. Why don't we commend them and then ask how we might be able to help?

At least ask yourself-- how could any of the ideas listed above hurt?

If Mr. Mohler and Christian radio and a myriad of others think this on going debate with the left really impacts the culture then I've got news, a google search revealed no one who said, "I thought Linda Hirshman was right on, then I read Al Mohler's piece and I thought, "Wow! You know I really need to change my view on this subject and live differently." Even more discouraging--no one expects that to happen. Yes, here and there, there might be someone who finds that Mohler makes some good points, but he is likely to "repent" and then encourage his entire family to pick up the other end of the rope especially if he tells his wife to quit her job. But let's give Mohler et. al. the benefit of the doubt and say that they really meant to preach to the choir. I mean after all, doesn't the choir need instruction as well?

Should we make someone who has the music memorized sit through another rehearsal?

So why are more women staying at home? Dilbert the comic strip and the sitcom The Office probably have more to do with the changing attitudes of women (and men for that matter) about the contributions to modern society made by their work in a lonely little cubicle or a lonely corner office than the Evangelical church, because when Ms. Hirshman espouses her ideas to the postmodern feminists in her audiences she is likely to hear them reply:

"Who says money or career status should define my importance?"

"Who says the one who makes the most money should be the leader of the family?"

"Um, Prof. Hirshman, my Mom is a stay at home mom. She invented a line of women's clothing that wipes clean of all spit up. She made millions."

"My mom quit her job and began selling bubble wrap on e-bay. Now my dad is quitting his job to join her."

"Prof. Hirshman, sorry to bother you, but I need you to sign this form. I'm withdrawing from the university to pursue my career as a photojournalist in Paraguay."

In other words the entire culture and economy is changing, and both Hirshman and Mohler need to realize that their debate is becoming increasingly irrelevant.

More importantly, I'm now having a hard time seeing where the work of Mohler and much of conservative evangelical Christianity has ever had much relevance. Perhaps we are angrier. Or at least louder. More fortified and united. But in all of this song and dance I am beginning to wonder: do we really take Christ seriously? I know we are grateful, eternally grateful, for the sacrifice, but the analogy of the sacrificial lamb was not to be applied to Christ's intelligence--As I think we do when we do not take his words seriously (the red ones). And when we speak and act without expectation of change we are not taking him seriously.

Christ changed people.

And we have been given a Spirit to do the same. So why are we wasting our time wringing our hands over the fringe feminists?

Jesus, just before he gives the Sermon on the Mount, goes through Galilee healing people. These are the people that came to Jesus. People that needed healing. And Jesus's first words to them are (and I paraphrase) "You are blessed." He blesses them! But he doesn't leave it there. He then expects them to be salt and light. He expects these poor, recently wounded but now healed people to change the world. How would churches change if this is what we really believed--that the guy at the soup kitchen needs to be restored because God expects him to join in restoration of his creation. That the prostitute on the corner has a significant role to play in God's Kingdom. What if our message to the other team was not, "You are wrong!" But "You are significant!"

Ultimately, our game of tug-o-war is a fatal distraction. Right now the typical theology of the run of the mill evangelical views God's creation as a sinking ship. And so as Christians we are going to lock the dregs of society down below in the servant quarters while we get our loved ones onto the life rafts. And then we will spend the rest of our time instructing our little ones so that they do not fall out. Out of feelings of guilt we might toss a life preserver or two out to a drowning world, but we are not going to get into the water.

After all, it is absolute lunacy to leave a place of safety and comfort to save a world that the creator himself intends to do away with anyway.

And I would agree with that last sentence except that it goes against everything Christ did and said. Christ says jump out of the boat and count on Him for safety. Christ says the people that look the worst off have the most to give. God called his creation good and Christ affirms it. Christ tells us he will grant us supernatural power and that death we need not fear. But we keep trading Christ and His truth for another cultural band-aid (Women mind your place!) for our problems. And so we look like everyone else and wonder why no one wants to wade through a mud bath to join our team.

I promise we will bring back the white towel!

2006-02-24T13:49:00.000-08:00

Anyway, I thought I'd post this link to the Dilbert Blog. Not that I condone stealing from work, but having married a man who hasn't bought shampoo, conditioner, or hand soap in years because he travels with his work . . . well, lets just say I know the type.

Eric relishes taking showers at the gym because of the money savings. He also still wears some of his jeans from high school because, well, he can, and as of yet the holes are not in indiscriminate places. Though I won't let him wear the acid washed ones.* He has several shirts he'd still wear, but they seem to have mysteriously disappeared after he wore a certain red sweater from the late eighties to our church service. Unfortunatly, I could not find my Coca-Cola shirt and Bass loafers with the curliequed laces to match his style. We looked like we were auditioning for a Back to the Future remake.

No, all of our towels are not white with Marriott embroidered on them, but occasionally I notice a small gym towel in the laundry and I wonder if he accidentally put it in his bag, or if he really meant to take it! . . . Just kidding--I know the answer to that already.

*Okay, he doesn't own any acid washed jeans.

Great story from Stephanie

2006-02-24T12:34:00.000-08:00

Stephanie has a great clip about a high school basketball game. You have to see it. I cried.

Trackback URL for this entry:http://haloscan.com/tb/mrsginnm/114079589658898212

XXX church

2006-02-23T14:12:00.000-08:00

Craig Gross from XXXChurch (I had to turn my content filter off to go to that sight by the way.) spoke at Mars Hill in Grand Rapids. His sermon is available for download. Well worth a listen.

His story about Stephanie (You will just have to listen) taught me that those who look to be the greatest sinners among us may be the most sought after by Christ. He also talks about how we fill our lives with all manner of sins when we ignore God's call.

Anyway, the sermon is entitled the Unignorable Calling. Again, well worth a listen. In fact I recommend anything from Mars Hill. Great Teaching!

On another note (well actually, this is perhaps an entirely different genre) here is a beautiful (and funny) piece at Humble Musings--a reminder that all the tips, tricks, time savers, and "me-time" won't give us an abundant life if we haven't first left our jars to be filled with the living water from Christ's well. Her words carry more weight when you know that she is carrying a baby that is due any day now. And it is her 5th child.

You know, as one who has tried every trick in the "me-time" book, I'm thinking these two pieces probably have more in common than we might think.

Hey Mom! More pictures of the Grandkids

2006-02-22T19:11:00.000-08:00

This is the only reason she reads my blog. And I haven't posted any lately. Mom, if you leave comments, I'll post a picture where you can actually see their faces.

Note--Caleb is in his halloween costume (the spiderman outfit) and he is wearing his valentine's day present from Grandma and Grandpa on top of it.

Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day everyone, from the woman who finally sent the last batch of her Christmas cards out about three weeks ago.

Breakfast!

2006-02-22T06:41:00.000-08:00

Conversations with Caleb #2

2006-02-21T13:17:00.000-08:00

Caleb: I love you
Me: I love you more
Caleb: I love you a million, million, million, million.
Me: I love you infinity.
Caleb: You can't, only God can love infinity.
Me: Hmmmmm . . .
Caleb: Well, maybe we can in heaven.
Me: Caleb, It is your nap time.

Conversations with Caleb

2006-02-19T14:34:00.000-08:00

Setting: 15 min. into an hour wait at a crowded restaurant with 2 kids, one husband, and my parents.

Me: Caleb you need to quit whining. No one likes whining. It hurts our ears.

Caleb: I can't.

Me: (teeth clenched and sort of hissing at this point) Maybe you need to ask God for help.

Caleb: (falling to the floor and landing in frightened turtle-in-a-highway position) God please help me stop whining. . . inaudible)

It worked! God is faithful.

College for women

2006-02-19T08:39:00.000-08:00

I have read several posts over the last few days on the dangers or impracticality of college for women. Here was a rebuttal to that argument pointed out by Bowden McElroy (who provides links every few days of interesting posts in the blogosphere) . I point out her articulate post to give some context to my thoughts, but the "should I send my daughter to college" question has appeared on several blogs that I have read in the past several days.

First, it is important to understand where these families are coming from. Many of these Christ followers believe in having large families. The "go forth and multiply" command is a command given throughout the Old Testament, and they take that command to mean that we should not use birth control or that we should at least multiply--greatly. (Part of their reasoning against college is perhaps economic. How can they afford college for all those kids?) Also, they believe very strongly that a wife's role is in the home. They take the curse put upon Adam and Eve as prescriptive rather than descriptive and their theology flows from there.

I don't agree with them and having enjoyed my own college experience, would initially like to give ten reasons why they must send there girls to college (especially if they send their boys).* But I don't believe I can simply refute their arguments by telling them they should send their daughters to college. First, that makes me guilty of the sin of legalism. Telling someone they should do something when scripture is not clear on the point is wrong. Christ's message, the Good News, was at least partly about taking off a legalistic code that burdened the least able to cope with such burdens. If these families feel led by God to have scores of kids (simply say thanks, they are funding our social security :)) don't tell them to come up with the money for private Christian College. Second, most of these kids are homeschooled. And schooled well. They are bright, intelligent, articulate. I for one, appreciate my college years, but I've met too many women and men who have done wonderfully without it.

Honestly, the best scripture on the matter is John 21:22. "If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You follow me." Scripture and creation both speak this truth to us: God puts a unique calling on each of our lives.

When I read the Bible (or when I drive down the highway for that matter.) I am overwhelmed by God's handiwork and awed by the divine way he weaves his plan all with broken threads in a beautiful though scarred world. I'm humbled by God's grace: that He has chosen insignificant, sinful, broken vessels, renewed them and given them purpose and significance. Our best refutation of encroaching legalism is the constant celebration of Christ's gift of freedom. And that freedom can include the gift of ten children. It can include a woman with a PhD. It can include a photographer who is a high school dropout. It included a seemingly poor child in a backwater town who turned out to be brilliant and humble and divine. (How strange!)

We serve a big God. Or rather a big God has taken us in and made us his children. And he has made room at the table for all. Jesus was asked these types of questions involving the law. I believe (and give me wiggle room here, I'm still working on this :) ) he used this opportunity to say to his followers that the Kingdom was drawing near, or rather that the kingdom is here. I think that needs to be our answer as well.

*revised

New Book

2006-02-16T12:43:00.000-08:00

Has anyone read The Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard? I'm just beginning it and was wondering what others thought?

How's the Bible thing going?

2006-02-14T13:56:00.000-08:00

Glad you asked.

If you have not read through the entire Bible from start to finish, YOU SHOULD! Okay, my preaching is a little premature because I haven't either. But I am in 2 Kings. And this is facinating stuff.

It is not difficult to understand. Well, let me qualify, I do read it and have questions, but I get the story line. Also, surprisingly there is a story line! I think we often forget that it is one story because we read the Bible piecemeal. Not that that is wrong, but I wonder if it is a good idea to do so without ever reading the entire thing (as I have done up until this point.)

One other thing. This is not hard. I have not had a problem keeping up (though I am only doing it six days a week and the 90 day Bible advocates seven.)

So, next time, I (and I am one who hates imposing on anyone) will be calling on others to join me. It is a great experience.

Abraham and Cell Phones

2006-02-10T14:10:00.000-08:00

I just found out Lauren Winners has a website. It is here. I read a little of her first book, Girl Meets God a few years back--well about five years back. I didn't realize it at the time, but that was my introduction to the Emerging Church movement. Her book predates Blue Like Jazz, but they are both coming to faith books for the Gen X and younger crowd. Anyway, she has an interesting article on cell phone use.

She writes: "What I'm getting at is this: cell phones, for all their benefits, have distorted both how we inhabit time and how we go about being embodied people." By being embodied I guess she means being a person in the present environment. Um, maybe cell phones are just changing how we are being people. Or perhaps, how we are being human. Then she gave the following illustration:

About a year ago, I was standing in line at the drugstore. The gal in front of
me was talking on her cell phone. I (naively) assumed that when she got to the
front of the line, she would hang up, or at least put her cell phone down. I was
wrong. Where her turn came, Cell Phone Gal stayed stuck to her cell phone,
paying for her gum, magazines, and lip gloss without so much as a hello to the
cashier. It occurred to me that our gal was treating the person, the cashier,
like a machine, and treating the machine like a person.

Cell phones have there place now in our society. But they have become so much more. Like an answering machine bursting with messages after a weekend away, the cell phone tells us that people want to talk to us. With every ring we are told that we are not forgotten. But how many of us have ever felt slightly slighted when a friend, upon hearing her cell phone and viewing the call, says, "Oh, this is so-and-so. Just a minute."

So I ask: Does the cell phone disembody us? Does it transport a part of us from the place and time God has for us right now? God gives us an intellect, a soul, a body, and a task. At any moment should we try to divide those "parts" (and even now I ask myself if they should really be considered parts) to answer a cell phone? When God tested Abraham by asking him to sacrifice Isaac, God at first called to him and Abraham answered, "Here I am." The Hebrew is Hineni and it means I am here with all of my being, physically and spiritually, ready to do what I need to do and fully present in the moment. Abraham made that statement three times throughout that ordeal. Hineni. Hineni. Hineni. I doubt that if Abraham's cell phone went off, Abraham would have picked up. And if he had, he might have missed the part where the Angel of the Lord said, "Stop!"

And now this brings me to another part of the Bible that I've wrestled with. In the Old Testament the Bible tells us to love the Lord with all of our heart, soul and strength. But this idea is not always expressed in this manner. Sometimes it is heart, soul, strength and mind. The organized part of me (which is a small part to begin with) wants to make this into a chart where at the end of the day I award myself stars if I have loved adequately in all categories. But the matter is not about division but wholeness. I am to love God and others with all the totality of my being. Somewhere in there I hear the word hineni and I sense that my cell phone may help me foster a myth that I can somehow stroll through the check out counter at Wal-Mart, make eye contact with no one, say not a word to the person who happens to also work as a cashier, pacify my whining kid, chat with my friend three counties away, and consider my frantic activity being about my Father's business. Whew! Jesus (who took 40 days off to walk alone in the desert with only the devil to bother him) said life would be difficult, but is this why?

Obviously the issue is larger than cell phones. There are a myriad of ways to disengage from the moment--to multitask ourselves into oblivion. We kid ourselves if we think that TV time is family time. Or that blogging on its own can equal the kind of personal relationships God intends us to have with those in the communities in which we are called to be his witnesses.

In the end, I am left to think. I know I am called to be salt and light. To stand against culture's sway. Sadly, to many who proclaim Christ being salt and light is reduced to forwarding e-mails about abortion bills in congress. But being salt and light, perhaps it is just that: A person that chooses to invigorate a real place--the one they inhabit at that time--with the embodiment of Christ.

I'm not the only one out there doing this.

2006-02-10T14:07:00.000-08:00

If you've seen my other Blog you know that I'm reading the Bible in 90 days. I highly recommend it so far (I'm on day 23 and am already in 2 Samuel.) As it turns out, I'm not the only one doing this. Read here.

Righting?

2006-02-09T11:38:00.000-08:00

I wrote Righting for writing in my last post. I'm a former English Teacher! I can't believe it. That is the equivalent of being a tightrope walker and then tripping over your own two feet while strolling along on the sidewalk.

Honestly, my grammar is terrible. And I frequently get quite and quiet, to and too, etc. confused, but you would have thought the -ing on the end would have helped me remember that unless I am righting a wrong, right rarely is used as a verb.

Migraine headaches

2006-02-08T19:37:00.000-08:00

I had my first migraine when I was ten. Now I usually have one a year, but this week I've had two. Two!

If you have not had a migraine and want to fully empathize with my pain (masochist!) take ice cream scoops, peal back your eyelids and without doing any damage (this takes skill) sweep the scoop behind your eyeballs and, using the scoops as a lever, pull--gently. Then take a vice and screw it in to your temples. Increase the pressure according to the intensity of light in your environment. Whenever a child screams or whines take that hammer they use to test your reflexes and drum it on the back of the head and slightly to the right. Oh yeah, in the beginning wear glasses with black mascara smudged around the perimeter of the lenses because your vision (in the beginning before the real pain hits) goes as well.

Today I was at the gym. But I am not righting this so that you will feel sorry for me (okay, maybe I want you to feel a little sorry for me), the main reason I am telling you this is to let you know that the gym is THE BEST place to be when you have a migraine. I happened to have my swim suit with me so I got in the pool. My vision immediately cleared. The cool water was great! My head stopped hurting and my nausea went away. (Oh yeah, nausea is part of the package as well.) Then I sat in the sauna. The heat helped as well. Actually it was the alternation of the heat and cold that seemed to help the most.

Anyway, I stayed as long as time allowed then picked up the kids from childcare. Usually a migraine for me is like being ejected from the game. But today I just could not afford that luxury. I think, though, that the pool swim staved off the worst of it. Afterwards I didn't feel nauseated and I was able to make my grocery store run and get ready for company tonight.

But since I can't always be at the gym when I have a headache and we don't have a pool, I'd be grateful for any tips on migraine headache management that might come my way. Most of the time run-of-the-mill pain killers are useless.

Shopping at Ann Taylor Loft

2006-02-06T20:37:00.000-08:00

Eric got me a gift certificate from Ann Taylor and I used part of it tonight. I like Ann Taylor Loft because the clothes are well made. They fit my body type well. And they do have good sales. Also Ann Taylor is not as trendy as some places so I can wear the clothes five years from now and not look like I've walked off the set of That Spring 2005 Show.

Okay that was all lies! Lies I tell you.

Ann Taylor is the biggest culprit of vanity sizing I know of, so I can fit into sizes I'd never even dream of taking off an Old Navy or Gap rack.

Okay that, AND their mirrors make my butt look smaller. AND the soft lighting in the dressing rooms makes my cheeks rosier.

If Eric and I ever decide to renew our vows, I'm going to see if we can rent the place out.

Teacher woes

2006-02-03T13:36:00.000-08:00

I read this post on Bowden McElroy's sight. I have taught in a long term sub position before. It is low paying. And lots of work. More work than if you are the regular teacher. Every year I taught regular school I dealt with a parent that really got under my skin. The worst part was that after the confrontation with the parent that child was lost. The child knew his parent would side with him, so he became either impossible to deal with or sullen. I much preferred sullen.

Anyway, I kept a letter to the editor in the Dallas Morning News. A parent obviously had a child that had been deemed a problem by several teachers. The parent had already sent a letter to the editor which elicited an angry response by many teachers. She then wrote in again. Here is her second letter. All I kept thinking as I read it (and this was year ago) was how, in any way, can writing a letter to the editor be in the best interest of your child!. Anyway, she was bitter. Here it is, I've abbreviated hers, but you can get the gist of the letter with a couple of paragraphs (Italics are mine):

Thank you to all the teachers who proved my point: most of you can probably blame the public school system for your inability to interpret my letter correctly. For the record, I did not say all teachers are undeserved of respect or uneducated, just that I have found . . . (basically she says many are uneducated).
Is it bad parenting that causes teachers to inform me in the 5th six weeks of a six week period that my son has had work missing for four weeks?

I agree teachers face challenges; but I am tired of hearing them complain about parents as if all teachers were angels of mercy thanklessly giving their life's blood to educate a child whose mother lies around watching daytime TV (and preparing the day's discourse on disrespect). Teachers should take the energy the energy they spend blaming parents and direct it more productively.
Here is the clincher:
As for those of you who wished me luck: save it. I am confident I have taught my son what to look for in a mentor, when to be suspicious of authority, how to conduct himself in the real world and how to treat people with the measure of respect they deserve. That last part, well, what can you say.

It just so happened that I had replied to her original letter, and my letter appeared underneath hers in that edition of the paper. Here it is:

Hopefully, those who have made it through our educational system have read To Kill a Mockingbird and name Atticus Finch, Scout's dad, among their heroes. I do, especially now that I am a teacher. His treatment of Miss Caroline, Scout's first grade teacher, is above and beyond gracious; it is kingly and merciful.

I have had my Miss Caroline moments--moments when I have been too quick to judge a student and a situation. Miss Caroline is new and more concerned with teaching her curriculum than her students, and has yet to learn how to manage a classroom where one student reads the daily paper and another can't say the alphabet after three years in the first grade. She is new. Probably more importantly, she doesn't have the benefit of the many years' learning the intricacies of each particular child.

Atticus could have chosen to demand Miss Caroline's resignation. He had political clout to do so, but he keeps Scout delightfully unique by choosing to act in Grace. He could have used his pull, gone to the school board, complained, had Miss Caroline removed, and Scout would have learned how to work the political system and use power to make someone else miserable.

But Atticus teaches a far more important lesson. He tells Scout that, "if we'd put ourselves in her shoes we'd have seen it was an honest mistake on her part." He teaches her empathy.

The tragedy I mourn when a parent bemoans the actions of a particular teacher toward her child in the very public forum of The Dallas Morning News is the common lesson taught and the chance ingraining of a rare virtue lost on that child.

Anyway, its been years since that ran, but I've always wondered what happened to that poor kid.

Merry Christmas! Peace on Earth!

2006-02-02T11:55:00.000-08:00

I just sent the rest of my Christmas Cards. If you don't get one, it is because you live close and did not send us one.

The whole Christmas card debacle occurred because as we were making our list we realized we were far short of the number of Christmas cards needed. So I had to get more, which put me getting the Christmas cards out after the rate hike on stamps. Which meant that I needed to go into the Post Office and stand in line for two cent stamps. I hate going in to places holding one child in my arms and the other by the arm while I stand in a line behind someone who is delivering packages ten packages to ten countries in Africa.

All I need is stamps!

Anyway, I forgot about them. Then Eric mentioned something to me about them, but I took that as an indication that he would send them out.

And he did, about two weeks later. So anyway, Merry Christmas everyone. Time to get started on next years Christmas card.

Forget Valentine's.

Model Child

2006-02-02T11:16:00.000-08:00

Okay, actually, my son is far from the Model Child. I mean he isn't a bad kid or anything, but everytime I might think of my having "a model child", I'm drug through another humbling experience of walking through the parking lot with my son yelling, "I am just going to leave you here!"

But for the last couple of weeks he has been great in the mornings. Every morning Caleb, Elise and I head to the gym. Caleb gets out of the Jeep, takes out my gym bag which is on rollers and then wheels it up to the door while I carry Elise. Then as I open the door to the foyer, he moves in front of the door to hold it open so Elise and I can go inside. He will continue to hold it open for anyone else that might be coming, all the while holding my gym bag. He is insistent upon doing this. I've had to tell several people to just come inside. And then, we repeat that process at the next door leading into the building. He will not give up his position as doorman.

But the really interesting part is the effect it has on the person in front of us. When Caleb is holding the Foyer door open for me, the person going into the main building always watches him and then holds the door open for someone else or for me as well. It has happened the last three days in a row. Anyway, It just struck me how a four year old, without saying anything, could alter someone elses behavior.

Tonight's talk (this is long)

2006-01-31T13:41:00.000-08:00

When I was in college, one of my psychology professors introduced us to a famous experiment based upon The Parable of the Good Samaritan. In this experiment, conducted at a college seminary, a seminary student would enter a room and the professor instructed that student to give a sermon about the Parable of the Good Samaritan. Then he might say, “Oh, you have just a few minutes to get across campus, you’d better hurry.”
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Now just outside the exit door to that room was an actor, sitting down on the ground, holding his head, and groaning.
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Among those in the group that were told to hurry, 9 out of 10 future ministers stepped right over this guy because they were in too big of a hurry to give their speech about a priest and levite who were in too big of a hurry to help a dying man in need.
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That story has stuck with me and every time I’m driving in a grocery store parking lot, I always invite people to pass in front of me because I think about that story.
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AVOID HURRY. That phrase has made its way into my mental checklist of what it means to be a good person.
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You know, I’ve been waiting for years to use this illustration. And it was going to be a great lesson on why we need to avoid HURRY in our lives.
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But I had one problem.
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As I began to read and study the text, I realized THEY WERE NOT HURRYING.
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Anyway, I decided I might need to take another look at the Parable. But still I think that is a pretty good rule to live by, don’t you think? AVOID HURRY!
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But let’s look at the scripture—see what it really says.
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25 an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. "Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?"
26"What is written in the Law?"
27He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'[a]; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'[b]"
28"You have answered correctly, Do this and you will live."
29But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?"
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That last verse struck me, because I’m always trying to justify myself. I want to be righteous. I want to measure up as a good person. That’s why I stop in the grocery store parking lot. This guy was an expert in Jewish Law, the Torah, our Old Testament. He knew the Jewish checklist, but the whose my neighbor part, that part must have bothered him, because if your check list to get into heaven involves always loving your neighbor as yourself, you want to make sure your not wasting your time loving someone else. You want to know who that is.
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Jesus, instead of giving him a straight answer, launches into the parable of the Good Samaritan.
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"A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. 31A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. 32So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side.
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Here is how I know they were not hurrying. You see, I’ve vowed to read the Bible in 90 days and last week I was in Leviticus (which is a great way to get The BIG Picture of what Jesus means to us by the way.) And God instructed the Priests “do not touch a dead person unless he is a very close relative. The priest was making sure he did not disobey God. I’ll deal with the levite in a minute. But These guys weren’t rushing to work. They worked in Jerusalem and they were headed to Jericho. In short, they were not hurrying.
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33But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. 34
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Jews hated Samaritans. In fact, if you were Jewish in Jesus’s day and riding your donkey down the road and someone riding their donkey just cut you off, you’d probably grumble underneath your breath, “Samaritan.” It was a derogatory term. Jesus had enemies. Jesus’s enemies called him names. They called him a Samaritan.
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But Jesus, in this parable, spends most of the words describing the care the Samaritan gave this man—and we don’t know a thing about him. Besides the fact he’s almost dead.
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34He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. 35The next day he took out two silver coins[c] and gave them to the innkeeper. 'Look after him,' he said, 'and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.'
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Then Jesus asks a weird question. He asks, 36"Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?"
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That’s odd. Because the neighbor is supposed to be the guy you help. He is supposed to be the victim, the guy on the side of the road. The man wanted to know, “who exactly am I supposed to help?”
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And I think the Expert in Law gets it. He understands that according to Jesus, He is the man, stripped, beaten and left for dead. And in that condition he has no business quibbling over, “whose my neighbor.” But Jesus isn’t trying to best this guy in a debate. He loves him and he says, “I am the Samaritan.” The law (the priest) and especially a corrupt law (the levite) cannot help you in your situation. But now I’ve come. And I have pity on you, and I will pay a great price so that you do not have to justify yourself any longer. I will make you right.
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That lawyer either left miffed at being called a naked dead man in front of a large crowd, or he left overwhelmed with this new item on his check list about everybody being his neighbor, or he left celebrating, like someone who had just been given a tremendous gift. I hope he left with the latter. I hope he put away the checklist with all the things he needed to do for God, things such as Don’t hurry, and instead lived his life in a celebration of what Jesus had given him.
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My husband is an avid football fan and I remember being at an Aggie game. It was close and my husband had gone down to a landing to get a better view of the field. Finally A&M recovered a game ensuring fumble to beat Texas. And Eric in his excitement, picked up some stranger, some guy standing next to him and hugged him.
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You know, I think that’s how we are to live. We celebrate and we hug everybody. We help everybody. And during those moments when its dark and people are not cheering you remember that these are the death throws of a dying world, but that ultimately we have chosen to embrace the reality of Christ and what he has done for us.
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So we celebrate.

The Good Samaritan

2006-01-28T01:50:00.000-08:00

I mentioned earlier that I'm giving a small talk for a class. I've decided to give it on the Good Samaritan. I was going to give it on the sin of Hurry. And it still would have been on the Good Samaritan, but I was using the Priest and the Levite as examples of people who hurried and so missed the opportunity to be a blessing to a man in need. I had this great illustration I've been waiting to use for about 12 years, but then I realized they were most likely not in a hurry.

As I said, I'm reading the Bible through in 90 days (though now it is looking more like 112 days) and earlier this week I was in Leviticus and I came across Leviticus 21. Basically the chapter says priests are not to become unclean by touching a dead person unless he is a relative. So the priest was not supposed to touch the man who he probably took for dead or soon to be dead. If we give the priest the benefit of the doubt then we assume he saw the man, knew there was nothing he could do and so passed by on the other side of the road to make sure he did not become unclean. Also both he and the Levite were going down the road. I've always taken this to mean that they were going from Jericho to Jerusalem because on the map Jericho sits a little north of Jerusalem. I imagined them both rushing to work like I sometimes rush to the gym in the mornings. But Jerusalem is at a higher elevation and the man beset by robbers is going from Jerusalem down to Jericho. I looked it up, evidently there was a nice priests community in Jericho. They were both going home.

So I was thinking about all of this while doing the dishes and it didn't seem truthful to use them as an example of being in a hurry. It seems like I'd be reading too much into the text. Plus, I was bothered by the odd question that Jesus asks at the end of the text. "Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell in the hands of robbers?" So I was at a cross roads, I'd either have to find out what the parable really meant, or start looking in Proverbs for some scripture to back up what I was saying (This tip is courtesy of my brother-in-law, the youth pastor who said if you have a great sermon and you need some scripture to back it up, go to Proverbs. He meant that as a joke.) Honestly, my sermon illustration only works with the parable, so I decided to see what the parable was really saying. I poked around a little bit and found this. Among some other writings on the topic.

In the parable, The priest and levite represent the law, and perhaps the levite represents a law that has become corrupt because I can't find a justifiable reason for his not stopping, and I know both from a secular historical perspective and from the Bible that whatever was going on in the Temple was basically a farce. The Temple had become sort of a puppet religious arm of the Herodian dynasty. (I get this from Cahill's Desire of the Everlasting Hills. NTW I believe talks about it as well.) So now enters the Good Samaritan. He takes pity on the man. He bandages his wounds. He poors wine and olive oil. He puts him on his donkey. He takes him to an inn. He covers his expenses. By now I am throughly engrossed in this passage.

In the beginning the lawyer seeks to be justified by asking, "And who is my neighbor."So essentially, he asks, "So exactly who am I supposed to help." Jesus asks, in the end, "Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of the robbers?" Jesus twists the question but he asks the same one. He is asking the expert in the law, "who is your neighbor?" But by that question he is implying that the expert in the law is also the man who befell among robbers. And in this state the law cannot help him. He is in need of Christ who in the story comes in the form of the Good Samaritan. (Samaritans were hated by the Jews and Jesus was called a Samaritan because, well, he had enemies and that was a derogatory term Jews used.)

I like to think that the lawyer is humbled and contrite and deeply moved by what he has just heard. But I may be reading too much into the text. For all of his life he has tried to live up to the standard set before him in the law. And he indicates in the beginning that he gets it: The sum of the law is to love God and love others. I like to think that he isn't out to best Jesus, but test him to see if he really has something to offer. And Jesus delivers. Jesus tells this lawyer, that through (and this is where some might disagree) no fault of his own that he is in the position of the man beset by robbers, but he also delivers good news, that Christ has come to seek and to save. And now perhaps I am reading too much into the text, but my clue is in the end: The lawyer does not argue (imagine that), he simply answers, "The one who had mercy on him." Then Jesus offers what appears to me to be a benediction. He says, "Go and do likewise."

And so Jesus does Justify him. I believe in the end of this exchange that the expert in law is justified. Finally. He is made right with God. And from that relationship what had before been a burden becomes a delight because he knows the love of the father.

Sharing fish

2006-01-26T08:12:00.000-08:00

I frequently give a snack package to Caleb and tell him to share with Elise. Typically this works well. He will pretty much give Elise a Teddy graham whenever she finishes her last one. He will split the Ritz Bits and give her the side with less peanut butter.

I like to do this because, well, it is one less thing I have to do, and it keeps Caleb occupied. But more importantly, I want my children to learn to share. I want them to form a relationship with one another. I want Elise to look up to Caleb. I want Caleb to take care of his little sister. To me these small little exercises in generosity are important practices.

So this time I'd taken a packet of goldfish crackers to Sam's. They have those carts where two kids can sit side by side, so I thought this would be a perfect place to let them share their mid afternoon snack. And everything was fine for awhile, but then while I was trying to find the Lipton onion soup mix (which is not with the soups but with the spices.) I heard Elise's screech of injustice. At about 15 months they seem to develop a more sophisticated sense of fairness. Anyway, I go back to the cart and I hear Caleb counting out, slowly, "one, two, three four," as he is putting each fish into his mouth. Then slowly he counts one and gives one measly fish to Elise. His reasoning? He is four. She is one. So he should get four fish. Elise did not see it that way. Neither did I, especially since Elise can out eat Caleb. Caleb knows this.

But I had an Aha moment, because I've been wondering why God chose this way to redeem all of creation. Why did he choose Abraham? Why did he choose one person? Why just one nation? Why this way? I'll probably not know the entire answer on this Earth, but I thought about my own purposes for giving Caleb the fish. I wanted to give him something so that he could share. So that he could be a blessing to his sister. I wanted Elise to love her brother. This kind of thing has to be taught in your daily interactions with others. God blessed the Israelites and put them in the land of Canaan to be a blessing to the world. Sometimes they were. Sometimes they weren't. Sometimes they began to horde the blessing and take advantage of their position.

Another thing. I gave the goldfish to Caleb, not because I love Elise less, but because in this case, Caleb is the only one capable of sharing. But as they get older, I'll choose who is the one to share for other reasons. But never because I love one more than the other. I'll choose because I'll expect one to pass whatever I've given them on to the other and so deepen the relationship they have with each other.

We haven't left yet.

2006-01-25T11:59:00.000-08:00

Just in case you were wondering about this.

But I am working on a lesson for a class I am taking at my church. It can only be 10 min. Right now I'm thinking that Moses had it easy. He just went up into a smoky mountain and God told him, "Say this." He even typed it out for him.

But I'm in Texas. And it is pretty flat around here.

It is hard to say all that you want to say in 10 min. Well, it is if you are me. I keep telling myself that Jesus said a lot in 10 minutes. Probably the longest passages of red letters in my NIV version of the Bible, if read aloud, would amount to 10 min. But, of course, that is Jesus. Right now, I count this up to one of His miracles.

My friend is launching her new business

2006-01-23T06:29:00.000-08:00

She has actually had it up and running for awhile, but here is her website.

God's plan for redemption

2006-01-23T04:42:00.000-08:00

I meant for this post to be on the Read the Bible in 90 days. It was early. Sorry.

God intends for Isreal to be his treasured possession. he says, "Although the whole earth is mine, you will be for me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation." He gives the 10 Commandments and then elaborates upon them with the specific laws concerning alters, servants, injuries, property, social responsibility, justice, mercy, and Sabbath laws. He also tells them about the three festivals they are to have each year. Most of these laws seem like common sense to us, but that is because they have been in effect for so long, and they are the laws that have permeated much of Western Civilization. I don't think The Egyptians would have thought about helping the poor or the widow or the foreigner. It will be interesting to see what happens when Israel does gain power. Are they a compassionate people at that point? A kingdom of priests and a holy nation?

I also don't think they got days off in the Egyptian culture, but I'm not sure. Toward the end of the Roman civilization nobody was working which is one reason why it came to an end.

I like the idea of three festivals a year. Today I'm going to get out my calendar and plan a couple of breaks a year, and I'm going to work at making Christmas a truly stress free holiday. I'd better start now on the latter.

Great family resource

2006-01-22T17:41:00.000-08:00

My Parents' church goes to the Willow Creek Leadership conference every year. This year my parents were most impressed with Andy Stanley's Kid Stuff, and they brought us back one of the resources that comes from his church. Their church is considering a family style ministry similar to the one done at North Point Community Church. The resource is called Family Time. It is based upon the Hebrew educational model which is much more conversational and based upon the premise that you bring your children along with you in your daily activities. They have a family time character development tool that you can use each month. It has activities that you can do at dinner, in the morning, at bed time and in the car. It requires very little (none, really) advance planning and most of the teaching occurs conversationally. The packets run about $12.00. We have not used the one that we have, but I was looking over the material today and it really looks great.

This is probably Top Secret

2006-01-19T11:45:00.000-08:00

I'm probably not supposed to say anything, but I think that I and my fellow boot camp members are training for elite operations in Kandahar.

Anyway, I have three clues. The first of which is Kandahar (Where is Kandahar?) I overheard my boot camp instructor who has a barbed wire tattoo around his ankle that he tries to conceal by long pants (a dead give away) say, "Kandahar." He was speaking to someone who cuts hair at my fancy schmancy gym and he could have said, "Can of hair" but again. I remind you. The tattoo.

You might think that no one would recruit a bunch of women working off baby weight from a gym that also offers aromatherapy pedicures. Of course that is what you think! That is exactly what they are hoping you (and everybody else) will think.

Clue number two: I saw that apparatus (pictured above) in the gym's janitorial closet, but, okay, it could have been a vacuum cleaner.

That aside, the real kicker is this: I saw the same exercise routine we did in the gym this morning on a news program about an elite unit operating in . . . you got it--Kandahar, or did they say Canton? I get confused because their maneuvers looked strikingly similar to those I saw one time at Canton being performed by a couple of women vying for the last flower arrangement that was at a rock bottom price in a booth next to someone selling ginzu knives--dangerous stuff. Any woman who can emerge from a Canton clearance booth on household decorative items in popular shades of butternut and shimmering coral unscathed with all the flowers in tact can easily handle reconnaissance missions on the level of those attempted only by hardened Marine Commandos on their fourth tour to Iraq. After all some women go to Canton every month.

Regardless, judging by the intensity of the workout, we are probably leaving tomorrow.

I'll keep you posted.

The word is Dashing

2006-01-19T11:32:00.000-08:00

Linda (Wonderful woman and Staff childcare provider at Church): Caleb you are so cute.

Caleb: (Matter of factly) I'm not cute.

Linda: Oh well you are handsome then.

Caleb: I'm not handsome.

Linda: Well, what are you then?

Caleb: I'm dashing.

New Tactic

2006-01-17T13:35:00.000-08:00

As opposed to this one.

Caleb: No I don't want Nap Time. Mom, I don't love you!

Me: I love you Caleb.

Caleb: Well, I don't love you.

Me: I'm sad you don't love me. It is nap time.

Caleb: *Scream*--scary echo of mine from a few days ago

Me: I love you Caleb. (At this point I'm reminding myself that I do love this child.)

Caleb: Whisper (incomprehensible.)

Me: What?

Caleb: (Still in a whisper) I love you mom. I will always love you. You are my favorite mom.

Me: thinking* Well, what choice do you have.

Caleb: And even if you tell me it is nap time, I still love you.

Me: I'm so glad. I love you too. It is your nap time.

Caleb: Okay.

90 day Bible begins tomorrow

2006-01-15T06:46:00.000-08:00

I begin reading the Bible in 90 days tomorrow. Anyone who wants to weigh in is invited to join.
Go here for details.

Primal Scream

2006-01-15T05:30:00.000-08:00

Today I yelled at Caleb because he had asked to have a snack one too many times. It was before dinner, he'd already had a snack. But Caleb is like a life insurance salesman. He just will. not. take. no. for. an. answer. Finally, it was like he had inadvertently hit the hidden lever that let out the leviathan within, and I don't know what came over me, but when I roared like a gorilla and yelled at him saying he would never, never, never have a snack on this side of the great divide, there was smoke curling up from out of my nostrils.

I apologized. I was wrong. I should not have lost my temper that way, but I did and I know I can't get that moment back. I also know it will be effective. I will only have to say Caleb, do not ask me again and he will remember the time I yelled at him and he won't ask. But kids are smart. They learn that what works on them will work on others and so I'll see my own actions, mirrored to a scary perfection within my son, he will probably do the same to Elise when she, again, goes to play with his castle.

*Sigh.* This is not the kind of mother I want to be. I want to be the kind of mom who takes my kid to the zoo to see the gorilla, not becomes one, not turns my kid into one. But sometimes I think, if I run my head through the sheetrock on that wall that I've been meaning to hang a picture on, the insulation will keep me from having to listen to Elise, who has saran wrapped her self to my legs and is crying because it is 5:00 and I am cooking dinner and trying to watch the news and it is her time to do this. Like it is her time to take a nap or have a snack or go to the gym.

And with that hole there, I will be more motivated to get that picture hung.

Flicker Ball!

2006-01-13T14:07:00.000-08:00

I'm still doing the boot camp fitness program at our gym.

And today we played Flicker Ball. When it comes to flicker ball

I am invincible!

Well . . . at least among the 30 to 40 year old women who are also taking boot camp fitness to get back into some kind of shape. Actually, there are several women in there who are in great shape, but they don't count. They are like the geniuses in freshman Chemistry that blow the curve so often they get discounted. So again, let me say that among the fairly reasonably fit, well, sort of

I am invincible!

But really, there is probably nothing funnier going on at the gym at 9:30 than the flicker ball game among a bunch of middle age moms on the basketball court. But you'd be surprised. We sent one of the trainers home to nurse a sprained ankle when we played soccer.

The surprising thing to me; however, was that I looked down at my heart rate monitor and it said 184. My heart rate was 184! I couldn't believe it. If it is 184 on the treadmill, my knees, hips, lungs and leg muscles are plotting an overthrow. But I didn't feel that way playing flicker ball. It was fun. Anyway, I feel like we were made for fun, for joy. To run outside, toss a Frisbee, tackle our four year olds to the ground in a tickling match. Somewhere along the line we get bogged down with contesting our property taxes, wringing the last dime out of the monthly budget, trying to find matches to three lonely socks, counting weight watcher points, hmmm. . . What are some other life sucking activities that I can think of?

I seem to spend a lot of time wondering what I can get that will make me happy, when perhaps I should think about what I can give away that will make me happy.

Perhaps the key to finding happiness is to live in Heaven. Not try to construct it. God has already done that, but live like I am in it. We always talk about baptism as a symbol that you have died to your old self and now you are new. But perhaps we need to know that we have elected to live in another realm. We live in a realm where all of our deeds are known and all of our needs are met. It does no good to try to hide them or be something we are not. In this realm there is plenty, no need for penny pinching. In this realm, no one cares about matching socks. In this new realm we don't worry about our weight because we burn huge numbers of calories laughing over long meals and playing flicker ball.

No one hurries in heaven.

I don't have this all worked out yet. Because I know that this world is an intersection of two realms. One is good. One isn't. And wounds, pains, heartaches are our experience. But in an increasingly complicated world where we look for easier ways to decide which is the narrow road, perhaps asking myself what choice would I make in a realm with no time and no death and no worry. Well, It seems an important question to ask

Genesis 22, Abraham's test

2006-01-10T10:20:00.000-08:00

I am doing some devotionals for a Bible Study and I was assigned Genesis 22.

Honestly, this is one of the stories in the Bible I most dread. I used to be okay with it until I had children. But now the idea that God asks us to sacrifice our children (even if it is only symbolically) well, to say the least, this idea keeps me up at night.

When Abraham and Isaac came off of that mountain, they knew in a way that they did not before, that their God was a serious God. One that did not promise comfort but instead offered lives of significance.

Before motherhood I'd have given up a lot, probably because you could have wiped out all of my earthly belongings and I'd be out, oh, about twenty-five bucks.

But now I have children and I dream and plan for them. I want my son to grow up, leave home, marry and have children. I want my daughter to do the same. All I want is their happiness and comfort, but God is asking for more. My dreams for my children may or may not be in his cards, and if I give them to God, he might lead them into a desert. He might take them places I'd never allow them to go. They might have friends I'd not allow them to have. If they truly grasp God's plan and live in his Kingdom, they will do things that will scare the--to coin a phrase I heard often growing up--living daylights out of me.

He wants warrior sons and daughters, he wants children that live their lives in a Kingdom where they do not fear death. In a way, God's mind works in a way we might even consider adolescent. He functions in another realm, one where perfection exists. One where we will feel the thrill of the adventure without the heartache of loss. A realm where all is as it should be and we need not fear. He invites us into that realm, but in this world we enter into it imperfectly. More precisely, he invites us to live as though we are in His realm in a world that is not fully within it. So it takes faith to enter, and even more faith to keep the door open for my children. It is an invitation to a dance, not a call to a safe house.

I should be taking down the Christmas decorations.

2006-01-07T09:55:00.000-08:00

Instead, I'm taking the hair color quiz.

Your Hair Should Be Orange

Expressive, deep, and one of a kind.
You pull off "weird" well - hardly anyone notices.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

I saw this on Minnie and Rebekah's sight, and so had to find out for myself.

Eric will be so disappointed, anything orange reminds him of UT and he has been moping around the house since Wednesday after they won.